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But ignoring how I feel about her gets more challenging when she relaxes against me and lets her head fall against my chest, making my dick twitch.“The guy I’m crazy about doesn’t feel the same way.”
White-hot jealousy clouds my vision for a split second.Who is he?Why has she never mentioned him?
“That can’t possibly be true,” I growl-whisper, curling my fingers around her hip.So much for keeping my hands off her.
“It is though.I asked him out, and he pretended not to get what I was asking.”Her laugh is embarrassed.“And then later he posted pictures of himself with some gorgeous blond woman.”
That’s me.She means me.She’s crazy aboutme.
“Then he’s an idiot.”The truth scrapes over my dry throat.“Is that why you’re here with me tonight?”
She shifts on the stool, and I release her immediately, although I stay put at her back.
“Since he doesn’t want me, I came here for the fantasy instead.”
I stifle a groan.I like her as Jonesy but can’t tell her because she doesn’t know I’m Luke, and now she’s here for Luke because she thinks Jonesy doesn’t like her.This is my personal hell.
I should be shutting this down and keeping her from confessing things I have no right to know.Instead, I prowl around so I’m in front of her, angling my face down but keeping my eyes glued on her.“The guy you want isn’t your fantasy?”
“Of course he is,” she says impatiently.“He’s a different kind of fantasy than you.You’re the wild weekend, body-glitter-in-my-hair kind.”
Don’t ask.Don’t fucking ask.
“And what kind is he?”Oops.I asked.
“The kind I want in my life for real.”Her hands fly to her mouth.“God, I’m sorry.That’s incredibly disrespectful to you.”
“No, I get it.”I don’t have to bother hiding my voice, my throat’s so tight at learning I’m the person she wants to be with and the person she wants to use at the same time.“That’s why people come here.”
“I’m sure you’ve got a lucky Mrs.Claus waiting for you at home.”Her fingers twitch toward my chest but she doesn’t make contact.She doesn’t want to paw at the stripper without permission, and I love her for it.
“No Mrs.Claus.”Nope, I’m managing to destroy any hope for that in this very moment.
“So does that mean you’re free to…” She scoots to the edge of the stool.It’s too dark behind my sunglasses to tell, but I’d bet money that her cheeks are the color of my Santa shorts right now.“Um, how much for me to touch you?”
“H-how much…?”My brain blinks offline.
“And how much for you to touch me?”She fumbles on the stool next to her, her intent unclear until she holds up a stack of cash.“If I wanted to sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas, could I do that?”
“You can have whatever you want.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” she says in a breathy voice.
“I really don’t.”I step closer to her, hoping she’ll hear the honesty in my voice.After-show hookups, sure.But never during private dances.Until Liv.“You can have as much as you want, for as long as you want.”Fuck.Too honest.
Her chest lifts as she sucks in a breath.
“Good,” she says.Then she yanks down my Santa beard and presses her mouth to mine.
At first I’m too shocked to respond.Too shocked, even, to worry about whether it’s dark enough to hide the lower half of my face as her lips slide against mine, soft and warm and searching.
I have to stop this.If I can’t kiss her as myself, I sure as fuck can’t kiss her as Luke.
Then she moans, and the cash flutters to the floor when she lifts her fingers to bury them in my hair, knocking the hat off.And I’ve wanted so badly to taste her, to lick into the heat of her mouth and tangle my tongue with hers, that my resolve crumbles.I kiss her back and lose myself in the salt and fire and champagne of her mouth.
When she pulls away with a gasp, I tug the beard back in place with unsteady hands.
“You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” she says on a pant.
