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“The ghost house?”
“Oh, someone beat me to it, bought it up, renovated—badly, I hasten to add—made it into this McMansion with pillars and everything, and this really nice family moved in.”
My heart twisted for Arlo and everything that had happened to him. “So, you lost all your dreams at the same time.”
“God no. I just got new dreams. More important ones. The idea of creating something wasn’t just about physical structures anymore. My thoughts turned to keeping a home for the three of us, where my brothers could heal and thrive, despite the circumstances. A useable space where I could experiment to my heart’s content. And then, I took construction jobs, worked with wood on more than a few construction sites, and finally I saw your job, and that was the end of it.”
I tugged his hand, then bent and pressed kisses to his knuckles. “Or the start,” I murmured.
As we finished eating, Arlo and I began the familiar dance of cleaning up. Our movements around the kitchen were hesitant at first, both of us aware of the other's presence. As I handed him dishes to rinse before placing them in the dishwasher, our fingers brushed, our smiles locked, and the anticipation grew. The touch was electric, a current running up my arm, and I found myself lingering in it, savoring the sensation of his skin against mine.
Charlie stirred as we finished, his soft grumbles disrupting the moment. Together, we went to the baby, our hands almost touching as we worked in silent tandem to unbuckle the harness and lift him out.
“Hey there, grumpy,” I cooed as Charlie's face scrunched up, his cries a soft protest against his rude awakening. But soon, his tiny fist wrapped around my finger, and his cries gave way to bubbly coos, his mood brightening.
We fed Charlie together; Arlo's deep chuckles and Charlie’s happy gurgles made me smile. Everything here was natural, so right, that I couldn't help but steal glances at Arlo. He seemed to fit in this weird part of my life without effort, as though he was always meant to be here.
Changing Charlie's diaper was a test in getting him to stop wriggling, and as his eyelids began to droop once more, we bundled him up and stepped into a warm autumn breeze in the yard, Charlie in Arlo’s arms. Dusk painted the sky orange and pink, the departing sun casting long shadows. We walked from one end of the yard to the other and back again, silent, but I couldn’t help but lean into Arlo as we walked, each touch sending another shiver down my spine, filling me with something I wasn’t brave enough to voice just yet.
I love you.
The world was quiet and the possibility of there being an us hung in the balance because what would happen if I messed this up or pushed Arlo into something he didn’t want? He deserved to go to college and become the architect he’d wanted to be. If I offered him the partnership, then he might feel obliged to take it, and then we’d be stuck together before we even figured out what was happening between us. There was a conversation there, one that needed to happen, with steps forward, but for now, with Charlie, they could wait. When we settled Charlie into the beautiful, handcrafted crib, with the softest of sheets and blankets piled up under him given we were waiting on the mattress—plus the mobile that played the same song over and over, I stared down at his little chest rising and falling in the rhythm of peaceful sleep, and we stepped back together.
“Zach is missing all of this,” I murmured, as Arlo's hand found mine, his fingers intertwining with my own in a gentle grip.
“He’ll come back soon.” Arlo sounded so sure.
“I know.” I had to believe that.
Silence. Was it on me to say something? Or would Arlo be the first to talk? I didn’t know what to say.
“What happens now, Jax? What about this thing with us?”
Turning to face him, I searched his expression, finding hope, and the same confusion that coursed through me. There would be no turning back from this, from the terrifying leap that was falling for Arlo, because if he stayed the night, we wouldn’t be having sex.
We’d be making love.
And as his other hand rose, hesitating only a moment before cupping my cheek, I realized I didn’t want to turn back.
“Will you stay?” I asked. It was different from the times I’d asked when he’d had a beer. This wasn’t just friendship, it was more, and I needed to give him the chance to back out now.
“Well,” he began, and tapped his lower lip. “Now you’ve asked,” he mused, and then grinned, and in a smooth motion, he pulled me to him and tucked my face into his neck. “Of course, I’m staying,” he said, and then he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “But not in this bed to start, right? There is no way I want Charlie hearing anything.” He chuckled and I kissed his throat, then snuggled in, and held him tight.
We were doing this.
“Let’s go to your room.”
ChapterEighteen
Arlo
The dim lightof the moon seeped between the drapes, casting a silver glow across the bedroom. The room was quiet, save for our shared breaths, slow and synchronizing as the night deepened. I loved him so much it hurt.
I knew how I felt about him. I knew I’d never felt the same way about another man before him, and it had been Jax I wanted since we’d grown closer, and it had been Jax ever since. Was that love at first sight? Maybe not. But what if it was just a different start to love I’d found, where friendship turned to attraction and, then, to love? That counted, right? Jax, with his smile, and his eyes, and hiseverything, had created a space within my heart I hadn’t known existed, then filled it with all kinds of moments that made me love him.
I tried to find a memory of a shared moment when it had happened, but there was no one single time when I fell in love, it had just happened without my realizing, and it might well have started the first time we met. How had I missed the signs? How had I not seen that I was falling for him; that he’d become the one thing to me that I had promised I wouldn’t have—a partner? My heart raced as I pictured his face, the laughter in his green eyes, the emotions he barely kept in check, the fierce need to protect and nurture; and I recalled the countless times he’d made me laugh, even on the dark days when I felt lost. All the late-night Friday conversations had drawn us closer than I’d ever dared to think, and as each of these realizations played like a movie in my thoughts, the truth settled in—I was completely and totally in love with Jaxon Byrne.
Stop thinking about this, and get your head in the game.
