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He pats the back of my forearm for a second. Cormac is the oldest of us—there’s over a decade between us. The gesture is more paternal than I’m prepared for. Even though our parents are still married, Dad was rarely around. Too busy building the MacMillan Corporation to spend much time with us. Cormac took on that mantle when we were young, and he still does it even though we’re all adults.
He sighs. “You have a lot on your mind. It’s making you distracted. I get it. But you’re…you’re home now. Somerset Harbor might not feel like a home to you these days, but it’s always your home, because your family is here. And we’re here for you, too, Everett. You’re not alone anymore. So, you can talk to me, okay?”
I appreciate the sentiment. Cormac is busy taking over MacMillan Corporation from Dad, but he still makes time to be there for me, and that means a lot. “Thanks, man. But I’m good.”
Another sigh. “Okay. You don’t want to dive into anything just yet. That’s fine.”
Our food and drinks come, and for a few minutes, we just enjoy it, along with the sight of some baffling spinning jumps from the ice skaters. But his words circle the drain in my brain, and I’m confused. “What do you mean, I don’t want to dive into anything yet? What’s there to dive into?”
He opens his mouth for a moment, then washes back his cheeseburger with some coke and thinks. “Tell me about work.”
“It’s great. There is nothing better in the world.”
“Sure, but it’s scary, right?”
I shrug. “Jumping out of an airplane and into a fire is scary—I won’t lie. If you’re not scared, then you make stupid mistakes and get yourself and others killed. Fear is just as much a part of your safety gear as your helmet. It’s a good thing.”
Quietly, he says, “The same is true of fatherhood.”
“Huh,” I mutter. Another swallow of Manhattan and I mull over his comment. “I’d imagine that’s true. You have to prepare for every possible contingency, carry equipment wherever you go, bring snacks because god only knows when you’ll have time to eat…yeah, I can see how fatherhood would be like smoke jumping.”
“And the fear is a good thing. It’s okay to be afraid as a parent. Otherwise, you might get ahead of yourself and forget that this tiny, amazing person is completely dependent on you. Which is scary to think about, but it’s also this awesome responsibility. An honor, really.”
I chuckle. “You’ve been a wonderful dad to Aiden and Frannie, but you’ve also been a wonderful older brother to me, Maya, and Beckett.”
“Thanks.” He laughs. “Wait, I haven’t been a wonderful dad to Beau?”
“Pretty sure Beau came out of the womb as an adult. No mentoring needed.”
He grins and nods, but that smile fades fast. “It’s a lot, isn’t it?”
“I’d imagine so.”
His lips tighten, and I’m pretty sure he’s nervous about something, but it’s hard to tell with Cormac. The man always has a thousand things on his mind at once. I’m not sure how he ever sleeps. “How are you feeling about everything, Everett? I know this has to be an immense shock.”
“What immense shock?”
“Come on. You don’t have to play dumb with me.”
“Who’s playing? I really am this dumb.”
He snorts a laugh. “Cut the crap—"
“Cormac, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Spell it out for me.”
He huffs. “Everett, Iknow.”
“Uh, good for you. Can you clue me in?”
A roll of his eyes follows. “Did you really think Lily would keep this from me? I’m sure Aria will be pissed that Lily spilled the beans about Owen, but it’s only natural for us to share the big stuff with each other.”
Oh my shit. She has a boyfriend. Some bag of dicks named Owen. I hate that name. Okay, I don’t, but what the fuck is going on? Maybe I’m missing something here. “What about Aria? What big stuff? Who is Owen?” I chug my Manhattan, trying to work my head around the idea she has a boyfriend, and that’s why she ran, and why she didn’t kiss me, and why the fuck didn’t she tell me about him?
He huffs again. “You’re not usually this good of an actor, Everett. Your son, Owen.”
I choke on my Manhattan, sputtering it onto my sweater. I grab a handful of napkins and so does Cormac, but he doesn’t blot me like Aria did. He merely hands them over. When I can breathe again, I manage to eke out, “The fuck?”
“Wait—you didn’t know?”
