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They both laugh as Levi parks my car in the Spirit Halloween lot. I trudge in behind him, finishing the smoothie and toss it in the trash as we enter the store. I get a strange waft of plastic and fog machines as we meander to the back past the skeletal decor and flickering lights.
“What are you going as?” Levi says, holding out costumes in front of him.
Taylor picks out a male’s pirate costume, holds it up to my body and shakes her head, putting it back. “A honeybee. They’re vital to our ecosystem. It's a thing I do.”
“I'm allergic to bees so stay away from me,” he retorts.
“What’re you, a 2X?” Levi asks.
“Large,” I say, crossing my arms. Levi and Taylor give each other a look.
“Yeah, but the larges will look like capris on you,” Taylor says, genuinely concerned.
I root around the costumes and pull out an XL doctor’s outfit complete with a stethoscope and everything. “Hmm?”
They shake their heads.
“It’s not the vibe,” Taylor says, sifting through more. She holds out a fireman outfit and they both nod. “Look, it's even a size tall!”
I snatch it from her hands, looking it up and down. A buff guy wearing suspenders and fire pants flexes his arms. Yuck. Although, I’d look fine as hell in that. “Fine. But unlike him, I'm wearing a shirt underneath.”
We walk it up to the counter and pay. Taylor throws in some black and yellow makeup at the last minute to the register. Her lips are tinted pink from her smoothie, tempting me to taste them with mine. She tosses her shiny black hair behind her, and I get a smell of her cocoa perfume.
“Okay,” I say, hopping into the driver's seat of the Jeep. “That’s it. Let's go home.”
“No! Mini fridge,” Taylor says next to me.
“What the hell do you need a mini fridge for?”
She bites her lip, twiddling with her hands in her lap. “For King. Your mom said I can't keep his food in the freezer downstairs anymore.”
“That, I can agree on.”
I drive us to the supermarket, where she picks out a mini fridge with a freezer, then I haul it to the back of the Jeep. By now, it's already pretty dark. Taylor and I drop Levi back at his dorm on campus before heading back home.
“Want to go to dinner?” I ask, my stomach gurgling. I don't like the idea of watching her put the dead mice into her new fridge before eating.
“Yes, fire captain,” she says with a salute. “You choose. I don't care.” She crosses her arms as she looks out the window. I have the perfect idea, but I don't know if it's pushing any boundaries. We arrive at the place where we had our first date in high school. A small burger shack that lets you order from your car. It's eight by the time we order, and we sit in silence, staring out the windshield. Maybe I’m being too obvious that I’m into her, like super fucking into her. But I also have hatred for her within me, unable to fully allow me to accept the fact that I want her as mine. Walking the boundary is easiest. Fucking and hating doesn’t involve unnecessary feelings.
When I'm around her, it's easy to forget how she left, like she never went to California at all. Except now she’s not obsessed with me and sleeps with other dudes ten feet from my room. The thought makes me grind my teeth.
A teenage girl in skates comes up to the window and hands us our food. Taylor claps her hands before she takes her chicken burger and onion rings. I scarf down my burger, so I don't have to sit in silence with her anymore. This was a stupid idea. Letting her get to me because she's hot and we have history. I won't forget how she left without saying goodbye; how she never texted, called, anything. I didn’t know she was safe until a year later when she posted a picture on her socials of her at a San Jose State party.
I slam my wrapper into the bag. She looks at me cockeyed. I roll out of the lot before she's done eating and drive us home.
“They have the best chicken sandwiches here,” Taylor says, taking another bite and crossing her legs. Her long dress scrunches up towards her thighs as she eats. “Don’t you think so?” she asks.
I nod making sure my eyes are only on the road. For safety purposes and all.
“Want to help me put mice in the freezer and feed King?” she asks, feeling an incessant need to fill my obvious silence.
“No.”
“Okay. Wimp. Carry the fridge up to my room for me?”
“Absolutely not.”
She huffs. “What's your deal?”
