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My chest feels heavy. But a high school romance is just that… a high school romance. To ask him to give up his spot on the Royals would be like asking me to never see my mom again. Unthinkable.
“I couldn’t let you give up your dream at St. Paul. This was all you ever talked about. Hockey for you was so much bigger, so much more important, I couldn’t ask you to risk that.”
He takes my hand roughly in his. “I would have found a way.”
“Maybe. But this way, I never made you choose and I’m not sorry about that. I’m not sorry for allowing you to follow your dreams instead of me.”
He squeezes my hand, reaching for the steering wheel with the other. “You hungry?” he asks again.
“Yes,” I say. “Always.”
32
ELIJAH HAYES
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be awkward this year. Taylor’s visiting her mom in California, so it’s just me, Levi, Steve, and Mom prepping the sides and basting the turkey. Mom pulls out the baked mac and cheese and places it on the counter.
“I could eat all of that,” Levi says, his mouth watering. Steve gives him a small smile. He’s been off since Taylor told him she wasn’t staying for Thanksgiving. I think he’s disappointed.
No one else seems to care that she’s gone, though. Except for me. Her being here may have been awkward, but there’s something missing now without her, too. It’s been one week since I have been actively back with the St. Paul Royals and, although I’m back on the team, nothing feels quite right.
Being in the second line is humiliating. Watching Levi and Braylon kick ass with the new center fucking hurts. He’s nowhere as good as me, even though he’s a senior. It doesn’t help that scouts have been swarming the rinks lately, pulling players to the NHL left and right across the country. They don’t look for second-line players, which means I have to make my way back up before the season ends in April.
Mom sets the table as Steve brings the sides and the carved turkey out and places them on the hard oak of the dining table. We never use the actual dining room, not unless it’s a holiday or special occasion. In fact, we never ate meals together growing up. It was always a frozen meal or a bowl of cereal before Steve came into the picture.
Levi takes a seat next to Steve as if they’re old buddies, and they share the gravy boat, passing it amongst each other while giggling like schoolgirls. Mom barely fills up her plate with a small slice of turkey and one measly scoop of mashed potatoes.
Levi takes the mac and cheese and stuffs it between two sweet bread rolls, devouring it in two bites. I do the same, stuffing it with the turkey, potatoes, and everything else until I’m stuffed. Steve is rubbing his belly. If there’s one thing I know about Taylor, it’s that she could probably match us both at how much Thanksgiving dinner we could eat. I like that about her though, her curves, her boldness. Although, she’d probably wish it was a Korean-style dinner instead.
I feel a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth as I think of her and fight it back. Mom’s been on my case lately about the party, about working online. Every time she looks at me, I can feel her disappointment. I don’t leave the house other than to go to practice or to games. After the Xanax drama, I don’t have it in me to worry about much else other than my future in hockey. I also don’t mind working from home. The discussions are a bit weird, but I think I work better this way somehow.
After dinner, we all help clean up, and the parents put on a movie. Levi’s been dying to go visit his girlfriends, Olive and Stephanie. They’re staying at Stephanie’s house about forty minutes away and it’s all he can talk about.
I grab a cider from the fridge and take a swig. Levi leans against the wall, his head buried in his phone with a big grin on his face.
“You should come, man. Get out of the house,” he suggests.
“I’m halfway to getting drunk. I don’t know if I’m in the mood,” I say, chugging my drink.
“I’ll drive. Please, come on! We can stay the night, watch movies, hang out.”
“As long as it doesn’t turn into a fucking orgy, I’m in.”
Levi glares at me, putting his phone in his pocket. “I don’t share,” he growls.
“Sheesh, not that I’d want to…I’ll stop talking.”
I grab a bag from my room and tell Mom I’m headed out for the evening. I begrudgingly agree to let Levi drive. He proved fine last time, so what the hell. At least this way I can finish my cider and see if Taylor’s texted.
It’s been three days since she left, and she hasn’t posted on her socials or texted. I’m getting antsy for some reason. We’re friends now, kind of. We’re in that weird middle space that I don’t want to talk about. I check her social media, noticing that it’s completely different from the last time I checked a month ago. Theres no sexy pictures, and there’s no updates, either.
“Stalking Taylor?” Levi asks, side-eyeing my phone as he drives down the twists and turns towards Stephanie’s parents’ place.
“Yeah, she hasn’t posted in a while.”
“Can’t say I blame her, not after the whole San Jose cheating thing leaking.”
Levi knows she was the one who put the camera in my room, but he was oddly sympathetic to Taylor the whole time. He never agreed with me posting the photos of her cheating, but it’s none of his damn business, either. Sorry,supposedcheating.
