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Chapter20
Celeste
Fenris’s Private Villa
Isla Lobo, Panama
When we returned to the mansion, I felt like I could walk on air. Fenris had wanted to know what the Handmaiden grimoire contained, but he had to check in with Piers and Gilbert to see if they’d learned anything. He also mentioned something about a siren, and as much as I wanted to know more, I needed to dive back into my mother’s magical journal.
I made a beeline up to the master bedroom, practically flying to the bed and flopping on it. I only belatedly remembered to kick off my shoes as I rolled over and grabbed the tome, flipping it open to the back again. My mother’s impeccable handwriting stared back at me, and I couldn’t help but smile as I pictured a woman who looked like me, perhaps a little older than me now, sitting down at a quaint little desk to write. Maybe curled up in a cushy chair, or sitting somewhere with a grand fireplace…
As my mind wandered, I flipped the pages, observing the handwriting as much as I was reading the letters. It was like looking through a little window into this woman, with her tiny notes and the little curl under herys.
One thing I noticed, however, was how each spell, hex, charm, and even recipe seemed to be entirely unique. If the notes weren’t commented on by several witches, the original author had made some note about how a future witch might alter the magic to better suit herself. I hadn’t tried anything like what most of them described, yet many of the notes simply made sense. I felt connected to this book in a way that, no matter how patient Val had been, I hadn’t with the spells she’d taught me.
Perhaps because I know this was written by my ancestors?
I wasn’t sure if it was just in my head, but Ididknow the power of positive thinking was real. If someone believed something was true, it was more likely to work for them. I certainly wanted this grimoire to work. Being connected to it through blood, the same way I was connected to the moonstone on the book cover, seemed perfectly logical to me. I wasn’t going to try to convince myself otherwise.
Maybe practicing something here will help me.
I wanted to be able to perform advanced magic like transportation, but not so dark—the vision I’d had still made my blood run cold whenever I thought about it. I wanted to live up to my Handmaiden lineage, and even though I’d never met any of these witches, I wanted them to be proud of me. I wanted the birthmark on my neck to mean something. And more than anything, I wanted to do exactly what Fenris needed to break his curse once the solar eclipse came around.
I felt my chest get a little tight, and I took a breath.No time to get emotional, I told myself.
I gently set the book down and got up to wash up in the bathroom. After slipping into a more comfortable pair of shorts and a loose-fitting tee, I wiggled back into the bed, propping myself up against two fluffy pillows. Taking a quick break had given me enough time to come up with a game plan: I would see what I could find of recorded history, especially anything relating to the eclipse. As much as I wanted to master every spell and hex written in here, I knew I wouldn’t have enough time. Even if I didn’t sleep from now until the moment the moon crossed in front of the sun.
Flipping back to the beginning of the tome, I found the elegant cursive script again. I also saw the name at the very beginning—A History as Written by Roa.
Roa. Who were you?If nothing else, I’d have the names of women among the Handmaiden witches, and I could research them later when time wasn’t of the essence. I flipped the page, settling in to read Roa’s recounting of the Handmaidens. It seemed even she didn’t know the exact origin of their power or their beginning as an actual coven versus a loose confederation of witches, but she referenced several notes she’d made later on.
What is important, I do believe, is the nature of a Handmaiden’s power. We are intrinsically connected to the moon and her cycles—I do so wonder, did Luna come down to kiss us each upon our skin once we were born? Or have we always had this little bit of moondust running through our veins? Ah, but I am speculating again.
A Handmaiden is most powerful during the full moon, except at a few specific points—if a witch is lucky enough to be alive during such an event. The solar eclipse—when the moon blots out the sun—is when our power increases infinitely. I cannot even describe what I felt as I stood at the Temple of the Moon.
I paused in my reading, flipping the cover shut for a moment. This book was atleastfour hundred years old, if not more. That was simply the most recent total solar eclipse at the Temple of the Moon. I trembled a little as I returned to the page I was reading.
This is how the Handmaidens were able to empower the first Lunar Lord and lift the curse from all shifter kind—bestowing it upon this single wolf. The Lunar Lord’s power is now, for better or worse, forever tied to this heavenly event. I wonder about the practicality, but I assume my foremothers were desperate to resolve the problem before the wolf hunters and witch trials got even worse. I cannot claim I’d have been calmer or more thoughtful if I were in their stead.
But our work remains unfinished. Regardless of what goes on in the space between these total eclipses, the Lunar Lord needs the Handmaidens the most during this time. Just as the Lord is bound to uphold the vows he took upon claiming his mantle, we must uphold our own and make sure his life is not in immediate danger at the point when he is at his weakest. If the Lunar Lord is to be killed, the curse will be released upon the paranormal world once more. We, as witches, will not take on the madness the shifters once shouldered, but I fear the witch hunts would follow shortly thereafter.
I have recorded several spells my coven used to defend our Lord most recently, though they were not needed as such. These were told to me by my mother, but it seems impractical for me to rely on word of mouth alone. It is my hope my future sisters and daughters will find these spells useful long after I am gone.
Anticipation tingled in my fingertips as if I’d just grabbed an electric fence. I turned the page, holding my breath, not entirely sure what I’d find. Spread before me was a spell page, just as Roa had indicated, but there were notes from other witches, too. I recognized my mother’s handwriting in an annotation at once.
While elementally speaking, water is a friend of the moon, I suspect using fire—the sun’s energy—is critical in tempering this spell. It seems counterintuitive, but it works on a day-to-day basis. She who practices during the next full solar eclipse, please do inform us if my theory is correct.
I blinked, tracing my fingers over Enora’s note.I wish you could be here,I thought. Maybe I even whispered it. I knew so little about this woman, but the way she wrote and described magic left me certain that she’d have been a great ally to us. I knew Val was doing everything she could to help me—and, ultimately, Fenris—but at the end of the day, she was from an entirely different bloodline. This wasn’t her type of magic, or her history.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. At the very least, Val would help me make sense of the spells I was reading, and I knew if I asked, she’d accompany me in practicing them. As I flipped through the pages, I found a spell used for identifying a mate—a pair of mates, rather. It seemed more straightforward than some of the other things this described, so I made note of the page number for later.
After what seemed like dozens of pages, I found what I was looking for: an explanation of how the Lunar Lord and his mate bind their life forces, which essentially eases his suffering by taming his curse. I swallowed hard as I read the words, but I was getting to the point where everything looked a little fake as I read, as if the words weren’t even real anymore.
How am I going to get close to performing this spell successfully when someone has written here that these spells still aren’t perfected? My own mother left notes about experimentation!I bit my bottom lip as I stared at the words, not taking any of them in.If they couldn’t master the spell when working together, what amIsupposed to do?
I leaned back against the bed frame and stared up at the ceiling. I bit my lip, trying not to feel overwhelmed. I loved my mother dearly, but I still found myself wishing that Enora had been around to raise me. Maybe by now, I’d have been much further along in my training—and even if I weren’t, I’d at least have another Handmaiden witch to lean on. Fenris’s fate wouldn’t be entirely in my untrained hands.
I took another breath.You’re working yourself up. And your mother did a good job raising you. It isn’t her fault she wasn’t a witch.
