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We spend every second of the entire day exploring Disneyland—Sophie dragging us from one attraction to the next until well after the sun goes down. Aiden physically has to carry her out when it is all said and done, the little girl being more than happy to stay until closing. It’s hard to explain to a newly ten-year-old that it’s not a great idea to keep her out past midnight.
She falls asleep in the car on our way to the Airbnb, but even with nothing but the sound of passing cars outside, Aiden and I still can’t seem to find a way to break the tense silence. He hasn’t looked at me once since we left the park, and even though the sun has set, I can just make out his features in the streetlights outside if I steal a glance in his direction. It’s going to be awkward trappedin the small space of the Airbnb if this keeps up, not having the safety net of an entire floor between us like we do at home.
I don’t know how long we stay like that before it gets to me, but by the time I’ve listened to the tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel for the fourth time, I can’t take it anymore. “I think it’s safe to say that today was a hit,” I point out. “She’s probably going to try to wear that princess dress to school when we get back.”
Aiden laughs softly. “It was worth the shit show I’m going to come back to at work.”
“Super dad,” I say, echoing my statement from the other day.
I can just make out his barely there smile. “Yeah.”
“I bet she doesn’t even budge when you carry her to bed.”
“You’re probably right,” he agrees, and when I look again, I see him glance in the rearview mirror. “She’s had a full day.”
“Did you have fun?”
“It was definitely something.”
“Maybe you can wear the ears to work when you get back.”
“Oh, sure. I’ll do that,” he snorts.
I grin in the near dark, turning my face toward the window. It’s funny how things can seem so easy between us only to turn uneasy moments later. Aiden clears his throat then, drawing my attention, apparently not done.
“You did say they looked good on me,” he mentions, his voice lower than it was a moment ago. “So.”
I turn my head slightly, feeling my heart beat faster. “Yeah. I did.”
“You were going to ask me something earlier,” he goes on. “What was it?”
“Oh.” I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. “I was just...” It’s not a good idea, and I know that. I should drop this, but I don’t do that. “I was going to ask what you meant the other day.”
“The other day,” he echoes quietly.
“Yes, you—” I shift in the car seat, straightening my back as my hands grip my knees. “At the park. When that woman said— when I said you were—”God.“You said it wasn’t obvious.”
I can only hope he is picking up this scattered mess that I am laying down, because I can hardly even hear myself think over the way my pulse is thumping away inside my ears. My chest is alight with flutters and sparks that make it harder to breathe.
“Oh.”
I wait for him to expand on hisoh,but he doesn’t say anything else for at least a minute. At least sixty seconds of me growing increasingly more panicked for having touched on this subject again.
“You said it was obvious that I was out of your league,” he half whispers.
I might not be breathing. It’s hard to tell. “You said it wasn’t.”
“Because it isn’t.”
My lips part, and I’m not stealing glances anymore; in fact, I am almost fully turned in my seat to look at him. “I don’t know what that means.”
“I’m not sure I do either.”
“You have to know,” I manage. “That’s what you said.You have to know. What do I have to know, Aiden?”
I notice his fingers are gripping the steering wheel now, and he still isn’t looking at me. “I don’t know if we should be talking about this.”
“Oh.” Every spark in my chest goes out all at once. “Right. Of course.”
