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“You’re always welcome here, Abs,” Theo adds. “You know that, right?”
“Of course she knows that.” Raine squeezes his waist before joining me. “All set?”
I nod, clutching the life out of my bag strap.
Liv and Tally follow behind as we leave the Chapel and step into the brisk weather.
“Are you sure about this?” Tally asks.
“Yeah, I think it’s for the best.”
“Abi, did something happen? Between you and Elliot, I mean? You can tell us, you know? This is a judgement-free zone.”
Liv murmurs her agreement while Raine studies me quietly. My gaze darts away from hers. She was there that night at the party when I kissed Elliot. She had a small hand in giving me the confidence to do it.
Guilt flashes in her eyes as she coasts her gaze over my face. But she has nothing to feel guilty for. She didn’t force me to kiss him.
I did that all by myself.
Ugh.
“Nothing happened,” I quietly seethe. “He felt bad you were all gone. I know you told him to look out for me.”
“Abi, that’s not?—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I brush them off. “I need to focus on pulling myself together. Exams are coming up.”
“Yeah, but there’s no rush, Abs,” Tally says. “If anyone has extenuating circumstances, it’s you. Mr Porter will?—”
“I’m fine. It’ll be fine.” I just need to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and everything will be fine.
The lie sours on my tongue but I swallow down the aftertaste.
We walk the rest of the way in silence. They want to say more, I know they do. But to my relief, they don’t.
When we finally reach my building, I can breathe a little easier. Which seems odd given how much I hated being here before Elliot stole me away to the Chapel.
Tally and Liv go in first, clearing the way to my room. A couple of girls stop and stare, gawking at me like I’m a zoo exhibit. But it’s nothing I haven’t experienced a hundred times before. The constant stares and whispers. The judgement.
But I can be that girl again. I can slip back into the shadows, keep my head down and out of trouble.
When we reach my door, I inhale a shaky breath.
This is it.
The first day of the rest of my life.
“Abs?” Tally touches my arm, startling me. “You don’t have to?—”
“Yeah, I do.” I offer her a sad smile as I retrieve my key and open it.
The girls follow me inside, hovering. But instead of that easy comforting presence they once gave me, now the air is tense, laced with an awkwardness that makes my heart heavy.
“Do you want to hang out? We could order pizza and watch a film?” Tally asks and Raine adds, “We could bore you with all our holiday photos.”
“Actually, I think I’m just going to lie down.”
“Already, but it’s?—”
