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This is going to be a long few days. I’m not sure if either of us will survive the storm washing over the pair of us.
But I’m sure gonna try.
CHAPTER4
Trace
Iglance over at Portia. She’s slumped over, her head leaned into the window, her jacket tossed over her front like a blanket. Her red hair is hanging in her eyes and my fingers itch to push it out of the way so that I can see her pale face, the little freckles on the bridge of her nose.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?”
I grin. She hates not being in control. I knew it would drive her nuts but I want her to rest. Her honey-brown eyes are smudged with dark shadows and I can see the way her body is taut with pain.
“How have things been going since your dad…?”
I can’t finish the sentence and I hear her sigh and push her hair out of her eyes.
“Why do you want to know, Trace? You did nothing but harass me after he died. My mom was a mess until she passed a year later. They were so dang in love that I knew she wouldn’t be able to stay with me. She missed him so much. It’s like she just gave up. If you ask me, love is a trap best stayed out of.”
My heart pounds and I feel a breathless panic settle over me. I’ve dreamt of this woman every night since I turned sixteen and she turned fifteen. We were in the same class because of where our birthdays fell and I followed her around like a dang puppy. Annoying puppy. I just couldn’t help myself. I loved to tease her. Watching her eyes flash gold sparks and seeing her full pink lips tighten as she glared at me? It was like a drug. I had to have my high every day.
Unfortunately all it did was push her away.
“Love isn’t a trap, spitfire. Sometimes it’s the only reason worth living.”
“I don’t know how you can say that.” Her head turns towards me and she sighs. “I know that your parents’ divorce was messy and then you got left with your dad. He sure as heck didn’t try and find another woman.”
Yeah, he basically shut down. I don’t think he loved my mom. But he was completely knocked for a loop when she left. He was never the same. But I don’t think it was because of love. He used to follow her all the time. He became her own personal stalker. And then he crossed a line and ended up in prison and she ended up in the cemetery.
Love wasn’t what motivated him. It was possession. Jealousy. He didn’t have soft feelings for her. All he felt was the need to make her stay with him at all costs.
All costs that ended up with him in jail.
The two of them were like Portia and I and that’s why I’ve always stayed away from her. Even now I’m fighting my feelings for her. I can almost taste that possessive need welling in me. The jealousy whenever a guy looked at her in school was overwhelming.
With my dad as an example, I knew I couldn’t go down that path. I had to have control.
Had to push her away for both our sakes.
“Why don’t you take a nap or something. It will be at least another couple of hours before we reach Central River. Get some rest. This is gonna be a long couple of days.”
She turns towards me and her head rests on the seat, her brown eyes so clear it makes me wince. “Who’s taking care of your stock?”
“I put Randy in charge of everything until I get back. What about you?”
“I left Purdy in charge.” The foreman of her ranch is about sixty if he’s a day and he’s cranky as heck but he’s a good man.
“I’m sure it will be alright then.”
She nods and her golden eyes close. Her hands come up to rest alongside her rounded cheek and I can feel that itch in my palm to cup her cheek again. See if it’s warm and soft. See if she slaps the crap out of me. Like she should.
I sigh and try to push down all those unhappy memories that talking to Portia brings back to life.
My dad. I don’t really think you can call him that. I mean, after mom left when I was just a baby, he had no interest in me. He basically farmed me out to my grandmother and let her raise me as she saw fit. He was too busy chasing after mom. Even after the restraining order, he just couldn’t help himself.
I don’t know why she didn’t move away. I wish she had. But it’s not like I can blame her for what happened. He did it. He took her life and left me with no parents at all. Just a grandmother who was pretty dang strict. Probably because she had no intention of having me grow up like dear old dad. A freaking jailbird. He’s never getting out. I haven’t gone to see him. Have no intention of it.
The only time I did see him was during the trial and he couldn’t meet my eyes. I wonder why.
