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Watching his finger, I decide to open up. “I hated all three of you for disturbing the delicate order nature created.”
“But the saying, that’s a cool way to think about it.”
“Dad found me crying with the stem of a dandelion in my hands after one of you blew every single seed off of it. He talked to me about the seeds needing to scatter so they can bloom. And that whether I hand planted a seed or wind blew it, the flower would look the same. I tried to tidy up his lesson for the tattoo.”
Jeff kisses my inked skin. “I love you, Cindy.” The sincerity in his voice is soft and tender.
He sounds vulnerable, but before I can say anything, Ballz says, “I’ve never experienced anything like you. I love you. I love your little routines. I love how you carefully consider everything. Will you teach me?”
Then Adrian adds, “I definitely don’t want to be left out of this one. I love you Cindy, like I’ve never loved anything else.”
“Anything?” she asks.
“Well, you know I have loved hockey most of all.”
“I just kind of thought you’d say anyone.”
“No one’s ever topped hockey. I always felt alone, and now I have you. Move in with us. Travel with us. Let us take care of you.”
What Ballz said is right. I have to consider everything. I need time to think about decisions. Do I need to think about this?
Eighteen
Adrian
ThehesitationinCindy’seyes catches me off guard as we profess our love for her. I’ve never felt so free, and yet being tied to one woman is what’s going to give me that freedom. How can we convince her that this is right—life is better with her? We’d do anything to make her happy.
Did I fall prey to the guy mentality that sex makes everything okay? It’s hard to imagine Cindy not feeling the connection.
We’re snuggled on the couch, and she’s sitting on my lap. Jeff wanted to be the one to hold her, but I needed that bond. I rub a hand on her shoulder, which is drawn up—the effects of her orgasms wearing off way too fast. “What can I do to relieve this tension?”
“I don’t know. Everything is so… It’s hard to explain.”
Ballz asks, “Are we moving too fast? We tend to do that—think fast, act fast—it’s why we’re good at hockey. But we’ll slow down for you.”
He has a good point. Dialing things back a notch, I ask, “First things first. Relationships take work and that’s what we’re doing now, putting in the work to make you happy. So, in a magical world where everything is easy, is that something you’d want?”
She smiles and nods. “But this isn’t magical—well, the sex is, but outside of that, it’s the real world, with real problems.”
“What’s your biggest concern?” I hold her tighter.
“I love my accounting job and my friends and my routines. How would they fit into life with the three of you?”
I resist making a joke about getting bested by her work. It hurts too much to think that even with the three of us, we’re not enough for her.
“Your routines…we can make that happen, find ways to replicate them anywhere. And you don’t have to work.”
“I enjoy my job, but I’d have to abandon it for weeks on end when you’re travelling, or be home without you.”
Jeff says, “Unless we quit the team.”
“No, you can’t quit. I know how much you love hockey.”
“We could take a year off.” I pivot from Jeff’s extreme idea. He and Ballz agree, but not Cindy.
“I won’t allow you to give up something you’ve worked your whole life for. Besides, there’s not enough time for all the Tai chi or Qigong you’d need, if you couldn’t hip check anyone.”
“You’re wise beyond your years, My Love.”
