Page 22 of Kindness


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“I didn’t use to be like this,” I start as I pace the floor in front of the table. She watches me intently, waiting to see what I will do next. “Something happened to me when I was fourteen.” I hope to fuck she doesn’t look at me differently after this.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” she says with a small smile. “I was just being a bitch, I’m sorry.” I stop pacing. I want to tell her, but I’m terrified; my entire body shakes from the fear. Who’d have thought it, the big scary biker scared to tell his story to a woman? “Would it be easier if we went elsewhere?” she asks timidly.

I nod; she pushes her half-eaten food away from her and stands, holding out her hand. I take her hand in mine, noticing for the first time just how small her hands look in my much bigger ones; we walk out the clubhouse door and across the lot. She notices that we are heading towards the back of the clubhouse, and she almost stops; I can sense the fear rolling off of her.

“You will always be safe with me, gorgeous,” I say with a chuckle as I lead her towards mine and Jace’s house. Our house is the farthest away from everyone else but still within the compound boundaries; Zayde made it clear when we moved in here that he wanted me to feel safe but still have privacy, which is why he and Jace chose this particular house because there’s no other houses around us.

The closest is Talia and Spider, but they’re about two hundred feet away from us. As we walk in the front door, Tamara takes an inhale of breath; she looks around the hallway, her eyes landing on pictures of Jace and me as kids.

“Wow,” she says as she walks into the living room and sits on our huge black corner sofa. “This is not what I expected,” she says with a chuckle. She pats the spot on the couch next to her, signalling that she wants me to join her. I sit down and wait. “Better?” she asks; my heart swells because I realise that she wants to hear my story, but she wants me to be comfortable in my surroundings.

“Jace and I grew up with our aunt and uncle. Our parents died in an accident when we were five years old, and we had no one else to take us in except Uncle James and our Aunt Tara,” I pause; Tamara says nothing and just sits, waiting for me to continue. “It was pretty normal at first, but one night when I was seven, my uncle beat the shit out of me because I’d been sick all over our bedroom floor; he then made me clean it despite my aunt trying to reason with him.”

“Oh my god, Noah, that’s terrible,” Tamara says as she tucks her knees up under her bum. I grab one of the blankets off the back of the couch and pull her legs out from underneath her; laying them over my own, I place the blanket over her.

“After that night, I always made sure that I got to the toilet as fast as I could. When Jace and I hit puberty, I noticed my uncle would go out of his way to touch me, at first it seemed innocent enough, but then he started coming into my room at night,” I pause because I can already feel how slick my palms are becoming, my heartbeat growing faster. I take a few deep, calming breaths before continuing, “I was twelve the first time it happened; after he zipped up his pants, Uncle James told me that if I breathed a word to anyone, then he would kill Jace and my aunt.”

Her eyes are shining with tears, “I’m sorry,” I say instantly; she looks at me, shock marring her gorgeous face.

“Why are you sorry? Noah, what happened to you was awful and not your fault; you have to know that.”

“I know that now, but back then, I thought that I must have done something wrong; one night when I was thirteen, he told me that I deserved what was happening to me. He said that the way I looked was what caught his attention. I started cutting myself in the hopes that I would become ugly to him, and then the abuse would stop, but all that did was make him mad to the point where he almost killed me after a nasty beating. That was the night I told Jace what happened.” The shiver that wracks my body has me on edge; my skin feels like a thousand bugs are crawling over it, so I start to scratch.

Tamara puts her hand on my arms, halting me. “What happened to your uncle?” she ask, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I put the fucker out of his misery,” Jace says as he walks in the front door. He takes in the scene before him, Tamara on the couch, her legs still entwined with mine; it makes my brother smile.

“Good, I’m glad because no one ever deserves to have that happen to them, and certainly not a child; if the fucker wasn’t already dead, I’d put a bullet in his brain myself,” she states as she sits up and climbs into my lap my dick jumps to attention. Fuck! I mentally slap myself; I want to get as far away from her as I can, but at the same time, I want nothing more than to lose myself in her.

Tamara

Listening to his heartbeat is enough to calm my murderous thoughts; I don’t understand how anyone could do such horrific things to a fucking child. Noah’s body tenses for a minute until I tangle my hands in his hair. Only then does he relax. Jace moves from the door and sits where I was mere minutes ago, the twins say nothing they sit there in silence.

“You killed him?” I ask Jace after a few minutes, he nods, but otherwise, no words leave his mouth. “You were thirteen years old; how the fuck did you get away with that?” I ask because, honestly, I’m so confused.

“Aunt Tara went to the police and told them what James had been doing. She knew everything the whole time my brother was being sexually assaulted, and she knew but did nothing to stop it from happening. She told the police that she killed James, and so they arrested her for his murder; she died six months ago from cancer,” Jace says with a sigh.

Noah’s head drops onto the back of the couch as he begins to relax; within minutes, his eyes start to droop. “You need to sleep,” I state as I move from his lap, holding out my hand for him to take. Jace chuckles and stands, pulling his brother up with him.

“You heard baby girl, bed. Now.” Jace says as he smacks his brother around the head; Noah sleepily nods and leads me along the hallway to his room. I enter Noah’s room, and... wow. His room is stunning. It’s decorated in light greys with black accents. The huge bed looks like you could fit at least ten people on it without a problem. It has a black metal frame, accenting the light grey satin sheets that cover the mattress. Jace nudges past me as Noah stands by the door. He doesn’t say anything, he watches me taking in the area he has made into his safe space.

The wall before me shocks me; it’s every reader’s dream bookshelf. You can’t even see the wall; it’s just one giant bookshelf. Hundreds of books are lined up, creating a miniature library.

As I get closer, I make out some of the titles. He has everything from The Preacher’s Daughter by Melissa Adams to Forever Changed by Amber Nicole. He even has Ruthless Monsters by Tatum Rayne, which is my favourite book to read. That surprises me because Ruthless Monsters is a dark and twisty read with a fantastic badass female main character and a slightly psychotic male character.

“Huh,” I murmur to myself. As I pull it from the shelf, Noah swallows and finally moves from the doorway. I look at him, and he raises a brow in question. “Just didn’t expect the big, bad biker to have this book on his shelf.” I chuckle, which earns me a smirk from him. Holy fuck, the world might end.

“Yeah, well, what can I say? I like my girls a little crazy and psychotic.” He laughs. “Have you read it before?” he asks as I hold the book, carefully flipping through the pages and finding that it has gorgeous inside pages. The author went all out with this book.

“Yup, a few times. It’s one of my favourites. I like Liam the best,” I say with a grin because Liam is exactly my type of guy. He’s a whole lot of crazy wrapped in a gorgeous package.

“Of course you do.” He returns my grin. Jace remains quiet just watching how Noah and I interact with each other; Noah begins to sway slightly on his feet so I put the book back where I found it and walk towards the bedroom door. I take his hand in mine and lead him towards his bed, his eyes on me the whole time. Watching the way I move, as if there’s more between us. That and my attraction for them make it hard for me to deny the feelings creeping up.

I pull back his duvet and gesture, “get in, you need to sleep.” I state the poor guy looks dead on his feet; it must have taken some courage to open up to me about his past the way he did. I mean hell, they barely know me and yet he felt as if he needed to tell me what happened to him as a child.

He climbs into the bed, pulling me down beside him; I land with an oomph. It surprises me that he wants me beside him, considering that he hasn’t shown all that much interest in me since I got here, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that something changed along the way. I have no idea what, though, and that thought scares the shit out of me; he gently tugs me closer to him; it feels nice, safe even. I’ve never had this feeling before; I mean, sure, I’ve fucked a few guys but never have I shared a bed for a whole night with one.

He guides me backwards so that my head is lying on his chest. I listen to the steady beat of his heart for a few seconds, gathering my thoughts. Noah’s heartbeat increases for a minute, and then he inhales deeply.

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