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And the other quote was Ophelia’s ‘Do it. Don’t do it. Or Do the fuck out of it.’ It was succinct, profane and perfect. I choose door number three.
I glanced around and smiled at my small and powerful posse. I wanted to make Abaddon proud. I wanted to prove to Candy Vargo that I truly was a badass. Mostly, I wanted to make my mom proud.
“Wait,” I said, realizing part of the cast was missing. “The Succubi army. Do they know where we’re going? How to find us?”
“Not to worry,” Sushi assured me, taking my hand and walking me over to the bay window that looked out on my front yard.
I gasped. A thousand Succubi dressed in white tuxedos and red patent leather shoes stood shoulder to shoulder. They were armed to the teeth and ready to rumble. Upon seeing their queen, they bowed in unison.
“Wow,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
“The pleasure is mine,” she replied. “Fifi, take Underpants Man, Dropkicker and Sofa Shagger outside, please. The Succubi army awaits you.”
“As you wish,” Fifi said. She handed a grenade to each of the Demons.
I’d seen them fight. They didn’t need grenades, but an explosive backup was always handy.
As the quartet left my cozy house, they bowed to me with respect. I nodded my respect back.
Ophelia, Cher, Abaddon and Candy Vargo joined us at the window.
“Holy shit,” Ophelia said. “I’ve never seen so many hot people wearing red shiny shoes in my life. And I’ve lived a long fucking time.”
“Lot of deadly horndogs out there,” Candy said with a chuckle.
Cher elbowed her buddy again. “After that anger management course, you’re gonna take an etiquette course.”
“You and Gram are up my ass all the time,” she grumbled.
“Because we love your nasty ass,” Cher shot back.
“Let me know when you get back,” Candy Vargo said. “Well, unless you die.”
On that shitty note, the Keeper of Fate disappeared in a blast of sparkling orange glitter.
“Are we ready?” I asked.
“Areyouready?” Abaddon countered.
“No, but I’m going do it,” I said.
Ophelia clicked her tongue at me. “No bitch,” she said with a naughty grin. “You’re going to do the fuck out of it.”
“From your mouth…” I muttered as we joined hands.
“Hang on to each other,” Abaddon advised. “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
I didn’t expect anything less.
CHAPTEREIGHT
The transport into The Darkness,a ride so inky black I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, sucked. My head pounded, and my skin felt as if it were melting off my body. The roar in my ears was so loud I could barely think let alone hear. Screaming would’ve been useless. An arid wind whipped through my hair, and the sensation of falling into an abyss consumed me.
And then, in a snap, it was over.
I opened my tightly clenched eyes and I let out a soft sigh of relief.
A vast mountainous landscape of raging fire lay in front of me. The words wicked and sultry came to mind as I watched the flames lick up the sides of trees bearing strange fruit that made my mouth water. Swarms of large, brightly colored birds soared through the fire. Their wing spans were the width of a four-door sedan, and the crashing sounds they made reminded me of the grate of metal on metal in a deadly pileup of cars. A huge red sun hung low in an inky purple sky.
