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“You’re supposed to be asleep,” I tell her.
“I’m trying.”
“I’m here, Lyra. You’re safe with me.”
“I know I am. Thank you for being here.”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, darlin’.” With that, I hold her. Neither of us needs to say another word. I let my actions show her. I keep her tucked in close, holding her as tightly as I can just to ease a little of her fear.
I can’t sleep. I don’t even try. There’s no sense in it. I need to be awake and alert, just in case. I heard Billy get up to use the bathroom and then head back to bed. I’ve snuck out of bed every thirty minutes to check the street out front and the yard out back. Nothing is out of place. Nothing is amiss.
You would think that would calm me, but it doesn’t. It’s just the calm before the storm. I can feel it brewing on the horizon. I won’t tell Lyra, but I can feel a shitstorm coming our way. I have to be more diligent. I have to pay careful attention to everything and everyone.
The clock on the wall above her dresser ticks and ticks. I listen to each second as it continues to tick. Then I’m watching the hand as it slowly moves around the clock. When it finally hits seven, I can’t take it anymore. I climb out of bed, leaving Lyra asleep, pulling my clothes back on. Once I’m dressed, I walk out of her room and down the hall toward the kitchen. I’m not a cook and don’t pretend to be, but I open the fridge and find some eggs and bacon. It shouldn’t be that fucking hard to make.
I set about cooking them breakfast when I heard the first signs of anyone waking up. Billy is first in the kitchen, looking a little shocked I’m still here.
“Did you spend the night?”
“Yeah. Wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Football. You wanna be on a team, right?” He nods his head eagerly as I plate some food and set it in front of him.
“Yeah, I do.”
“I think I can get you on one. If you’re ready for that,” I tell him. I lean against the counter and watch him nod his head as he shovels food into his mouth.
“I’d like that. I’m ready, Knight. I know I am. Cam and I have been practicing.”
“I know you have. I’ve seen you out there. You’re doin’ great,” I tell him as Lyra comes around the corner. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days when I know she slept all night. There’s worry in her eyes, a worry I don’t like seeing there.
“You hungry?” I ask her, but she shakes her head.
“I’m fine.”
“You need to eat.” I scoop food onto another plate. I walk over and sit it at the table, motioning for her to sit. She looks at me funny before smiling and taking a seat with Billy.
“Knight said he can get me on a team,” he says excitedly. I chuckle at his enthusiasm.
“Is that right? You ready for that?” she asks him.
“Yeah, I’m ready. I’ll do my best, Mom.”
“I know you will.”
I sit back and watch them as they talk, and something about this moment, about all of this, just feels right.
18
Lyra
“Are you sure he’s okay doing this?” I ask Knight once more. I’m sure he’s getting annoyed with me asking, but I just need to be sure. Even if he was, he isn’t showing it.
“Listen, Mama. I get it. You’re worried, but you shouldn’t be. The kid is strong. He’s got this,” he tells me as I watch my son out on the field practicing. Knight made good on his promise and got Billy a spot on the team. Now he’s out there running the ball with the rest of the boys.
“What about him?” I ask, nodding sideways at the guy next to a bike.
