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Five days had passed since we came home. Or since I came to Reed’s home. It had been nothing short of torture. With each day that went by, Reed got better at shutting me out. At dinner tonight, he didn’t even look at me. It was a family dinner in the main house, but still. Cadence picked up on it and nudged me at the table, her chin jutting toward Reed. I shrugged in response. It wasn’t like I could tell her I was an epic fuckup and kept destroying Reed.
Reed wasn’t sad this time. Dash and Slater weren’t giving me shit for making him miserable. They came over yesterday to hang out and see how Elic was. They both commented at different times about how happy Reed appeared. Slater pulled me aside and told me I must be doing something right.
I shoved him away and stomped off to the deck, out of the living room where they were. Reed wasn’t happy because of me. It was Elic. And I was becoming a jealous motherfucker. Not because of Elic. Hell, I enjoyed being around him too. The more he came out of his shell, the more I liked him. I was jealous because Reed gave him all his attention.
There was a vibration inside of me. Nothing tangible I could see. My hands didn’t shake; my teeth didn’t chatter. It was internal, in my very bones, letting me know something was off.
It was one thing when I deliberately kept myself away from Reed. It was quite another to have him in front of me and get zero acknowledgement. I knew how that sounded and didn’t care. With Reed, logic had no place in the equation, nor did karma handing me my ass for all I’d done.
Downstairs on the second floor, I had my hands braced on the kitchen counter, and my head hung. I’d just downed a glass of water. There was nothing else here except for soda, iced tea, and lemonade. Reed didn’t drink. And I’d drank far too much for a while in the past to not want a repeat, but damn, it was tempting to leave and find a bar. If I wouldn’t be recognized, I might consider it. Leaving meant walking away and drowning my emotions. It wasn’t solving the problem, simply numbing it.
The room was bathed in darkness. Crickets chirped too loudly outside. If it wasn’t four in the morning, I might have called Dash or Slater and asked them for advice. My go-to was to push myself into Reed’s orbit. We weren’t on the bus though. And I was already in his house.
I slammed my fist down on the counter and turned to find Reed standing there. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Shaking my head, I dropped my chin to my chest. “Nothing. I’m going back to bed.” I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm to hold me in place. “Reed,” I growled low. His hand on me sent a firestorm through my system. Need slammed into me so fast, I could hardly breathe.
“Cas, talk to me.” His voice was so fucking soft, so damn sweet. He was warm and smelled faintly of spice and man. I wanted to drown in him and never come up for air.
“Talk to you?” I bit out, shaking him off. “We don’t talk.”
“We could.”
Positioning myself so I was in his face, my chest inches from his, I had to resist grabbing him by the back of the neck and crushing my lips to his. “You’ve been ignoring me for days.”
“I had to. If I didn’t, I’d…” He turned his head, so he wasn’t looking at me.
“No, you don’t get to do that.” I used my finger to draw him back. It was a fatal mistake. There was no pulling my hand away now that I was intentionally touching him. I skated my finger over his jaw, down his neck, until I cupped the back of it, his hair tickling my skin.
“Cas,” he rasped. “We can’t.”
“Can’t or shouldn’t? They are two very different things.” Leaning down, I dragged my nose along his neck, inhaling his scent. His dick was hard as it pressed against me. Reed wasn’t one to back away when we were this close. What was about to happen was inevitable. I whispered in his ear, “You know what to say for me to put you out of your misery.” My body was strung so fucking tight, I craved the relief he could give me.
Reed didn’t speak at first. I didn’t dare move until he said the two words I heard in my dreams. Those sweet words on his gorgeous lips that made me hard as fucking steel and gave me tunnel vision with only him in my sights. They were also his consent. Once they were spoken, he was in.
His hands went to my hips first, as if he were anchoring himself in place. He took a deep inhale, swaying on his feet. I still had my hand on his neck, temptation ever so close.
“I’m yours,” he whispered.
I was slamming him against the counter in a second flat. Our foreplay already happened. Now it was time to consume.
My lips were on his, my tongue immediately in his mouth, tasting every bit of him I could get to. His tongue moved with mine. The dance we’d done so many times it was muscle memory. We didn’t need to ask questions, didn’t need to wonder what came next. This was us and our base desires. The only difference now was we were in his house and not on the tour bus or in a hotel.
There was no push and pull with us. No battling for control. I dominated and Reed took what I gave him, which was never more than he could handle.
His sweatpants gave me easy access to him. I shoved them and his boxer briefs down, using my foot to hold them so he could step out. He lifted his shirt over his head while I did the same. My shorts were off next, nothing beneath them. I didn’t like the restriction when I slept and usually slept naked. With Elic in the house and me trying to behave myself—ha ha ha—I had shorts on when I was in bed.
The room was still dark, though my eyes had adjusted. I didn’t need to see to know every inch of Reed’s body. I had it mapped out and etched into my brain. He was a work of art. A canvas for me to savor. A song I knew the lyrics to.
Gripping his hips, I spun him around. It was a way to put distance between us. To not make this more than it was, though wasn’t it always? I thought by not looking him in the eyes, I could pretend I didn’t love him as deeply as I did. That every shared breath wasn’t seeping inside me, infiltrating my very being.
Reed leaned forward, bracing himself on the counter. He spread his legs, ass out toward me, and waited. Shit, I didn’t have any lube. I went to the pantry to grab the olive oil, not bothering to be neat as I dripped it down his crease before placing it on the counter. The oil was slick against my fingers as I rubbed it over his hole.
We didn’t do things slow. I shoved two fingers in, relishing in the soft cry Reed released. Hurting him wasn’t something I did while we were in bed. Or standing in the kitchen. So, I prepped him, then slicked up my dick with the remaining oil on my hand. Condoms? Fuck that. Reed and I weren’t in a relationship, but we also didn’t sleep around. It was an unspoken rule. When we fucked, we did so bare. If he found someone else, this shit stopped. Me… it had only been Reed since I quit drinking and fucking my way through every town we performed in.
With my dick in my hand, I lined up and drove home in one thrust. A jolt of longing went through me, along with sheer pleasure. Being with Reed was unparalleled. Having him sucking my dick into his body, tightening those muscles on me, I’d found nirvana. If only I gave in and let myself have what he offered. He’d give me everything if I’d accept it.
Reed shook against me as I wrapped my arms around him to hold him as close as possible. It hadn’t been long since I was last inside him, but I missed him badly.
