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Who no longer needed to flee
From the pain we tried to hide
Through the vast divide
But you were there when we needed you most
When all we knew was how to coast
It won’t be easy, and we’ll sometimes fight
We’ll do everything we can to make it right
And we’ll be sure you see your worth
Every day we’re on this earth
Oh my god. What was happening? I couldn’t believe the words Reed sang. Every lyric, every rise and fall in his voice, holy shit. It was poetic and beautiful, and he was saying those words to me. A no one who chose a life on the streets rather than being abused. A man who had no hope but still survived by any means necessary. Until they came along and changed my trajectory.
The restaurant fell away. There was nothing but me with them on the stage, and their sounds in my head and heart. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks but didn’t wipe them away or fight to keep them back. Because I didn’t want to miss a single word or chord. I wanted to remember this moment, etch it into my mind so I never forgot it.
This was what people dreamed of when they thought about finding the person they were meant to fall for. Only, I had two people who watched me with such open longing I could hardly breathe. I wanted to run up there and throw my arms around them. I wanted to kiss them and let them know just how much they meant to me.
Romantic love wasn’t something I’d experienced before. It was new and scary, but if this was what happened when I took big leaps, like coming here tonight with them and having them sing and play for me, I’d take leaps every day. I’d do whatever it took to keep them in my life.
I didn’t have eloquent words like Reed or the ability to play notes that could make a person cry like Casper. But I had actions. I was in control of what I did and when. They weren’t shy about being with me. If I would have given them the okay, I bet they both would have kissed my cheeks in front of everyone. I held back, unsure. Not anymore. If they could put themselves out there, I could as well.
They went from their new song into another I’d heard them play the last time they were here. When the crowd cheered, they played another and another. Their eyes didn’t hold mine like they did before, but I caught them glancing my way now and then. Reed was made to sing. His voice, the way he interacted with the crowd, he was riveting to watch. How Casper played his guitar… I didn’t know much, but I knew he was damn good. He got so into it playing the songs. Sweat dotted his brow as he played from his heart.
By the time they were done, people were on their feet cheering so loud it was hard to hear anything else. I stayed where I was, safe from the small sea of people waiting to meet them, certain Reed and Casper wanted to greet their fans as well. When Casper stepped down first and strode toward me, I couldn’t fight the smile forming on my lips. Reed followed on his heels.
Casper stopped in front of me, his breath coming in pants from the songs he played and the vocals he sang along with Reed. “Well?”
I leaped forward and wrapped my arms around him. “I loved it.” My eyes latched on to Reed over Casper’s shoulder. I reached for him. He came forward to engulf me and Casper at the same time. “Thank you both. It was amazing.”
Turning so he could hold us as I did the same, Casper dropped his forehead to Reed’s. “You’re brilliant. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a thousand times more. That song was perfect.”
Reed smiled. “It’s a start.”
“Don’t change it,” I rushed to say. “Add to it, sure, but don’t change what you have.”
Casper’s forehead dropped to mine next. “We won’t. It’s yours, Elic. We’re yours.”
“You two are trying to kill me,” I whispered.
“No, we’re trying to show you how much we care.”
“I’ve never felt like this before. This… special.”
“You are, El,” Casper said. “So fucking special.”
It was Cadence who came to tell us we had a crowd watching with their phones out. We didn’t care. They could look all they wanted but the words we just spoke were for us and us alone.
Finally breaking apart, Casper kept me by his side, where I was finding I could stay forever. Reed stood on the other side of Casper, and we got our pictures taken. A lot. Then people came forward for selfies with the guys and autographs. Some asked for my name. I only gave my first one, hoping they wouldn’t dig too deep, but knowing they’d figure it out anyway. There was no shame in me being my mother’s son. I had my stepfather’s last name though. One I hated because it connected me to him. I could change it now. I had money and had a way to figure out how to do it. But it was her last name too. A link I still had to her, even though it was to him as well.
There was time to change it if I wanted to, as well as do other things like get my license. I didn’t need to rush to get everything taken care of at once. The world would keep moving and when I was ready, I’d join it. Until then, I’d stay where I felt safe. With the Ashfords. On this farm. In this restaurant. With Casper and Reed.
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