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A laugh tried to escape but died in my throat.
Deserved.
The only thing I deserved was what I was about to get—nothing. Because I wasn’t worth anything.
22
ELIC
Putting one foot in front of the other was a monumental effort when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hide. To bury myself under a mountain of blankets and never come out.
He’d found me. I figured he would someday. Now that I was with Reed and Casper—probably all over the internet, thanks to the very public new song and display of affection—my stepfather climbed out of the hole he was in to make my life a living hell again.
To see him after so long, the way his eyes raked over my body like he was remembering what it was like to… No. I couldn’t go there. I already fell apart at the restaurant. It took Reed coaxing me out, assuring me no one would hurt me before I’d emerged.
Casper was there, rage written all over him. His hands were fisted, and his eyes were wild. I didn’t want him anywhere near that man. Not even sharing the same air, but he was. Casper defended me, something I’d be eternally grateful for.
Except, he thought I was afraid of him. And he ran.
Reed and Dash cursed. Slater shook his head and muttered, “Typical.” But I couldn’t focus on them because I’d hurt Casper.Me.I never wanted to hurt the people I cared about.
After we got everything situated with the police and they took my stepfather away in handcuffs, I had to excuse myself to throw up. The support I had was amazing. Recounting what he’d put me through to the police was not. I couldn’t let him hurt me or anyone else though. I had to tell them what he’d done. The next steps with him, I wasn’t sure and, frankly, didn’t care about right now. He was in custody. What mattered was Casper and setting things right between us.
Reed had tried to leave without me. He told me to stay with his family. I couldn’t. Not when Casper thought I was afraid of him. I didn’t need him to say it for me to know. The utter defeat was there in his eyes. He thought he fucked up again.
Getting to him was a challenge. As much as I wanted to leave, trying to move my body out of the state of continued shock and fear was difficult. My limbs were locked tight, not wanting to step outside where he could still be with the police in their car. He smelled the same—stale cigarettes and cheap vodka. I’d only known because I was close to him before I realized who he was. That was what I got for walking with my head down, focused on not bumping into the tables.
With the help of Reed and Dash, I moved slowly. Slater went in front of us, assuring me there was no one outside. The cops were gone, and so was the man I hated above all others.
Since I’d walked over earlier for my shift and Reed got a ride with Casper, Dash and Slater gave us a lift in Slater’s truck. Slater tried talking to Reed, but Reed wouldn’t hear it. He said he couldn’t focus on that when Casper was beating himself up and doing fuck knew what.
I sat in the back seat and watched the interaction. Dash was next to me, a comforting presence I was trusting more and more. They both showed up today, even after what happened between Slater and Reed. They were there for me, for Casper and Reed.
We pulled into the garage for Casper’s building and into an empty parking spot. Reed got out first, helping me down from the truck. My arms and legs still shook, but at least they were moving. I was determined to go inside and make Casper understand he wasn’t the one upsetting me. Reed thanked the guys. They said they’d wait for us to make sure we didn’t need anything.
Another day, I might have stopped to take in the beauty of the building on the outside, but I was too focused on moving toward the elevator where Reed entered his code, and we went to the top floor. The ding of the arrival startled me, causing me to jump. Reed soothed his hand up and down my arm as he kept his around me to help me to the front door of Casper’s place.
This was my first time being here. I wished it were under different circumstances. I’d want Casper to show me around, to bring me into his life, his home, to tell me what made this space his.
Once the door closed behind us and we were safely inside the penthouse, Reed left me to go find Casper. I heard Reed talking, knew he hadn’t gone far.
For a few seconds, I let my eyes wander over the furnishings. There was nothing warm or inviting. Nothing that screamed Casper. It had the appearance of a fancy hotel rather than a home.
I hadn’t expected Casper in the state he was in when I got my body to cooperate again and walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t just a little drunk; he was gone out of his head from the liquor. I spoke to him but knew it wasn’t the time to explain myself. He most likely wouldn’t remember it.
Reed pulled out his phone when Casper’s eyes slipped closed. He asked if the guys could come up. He ended the call and crouched by me where I sat on the floor near Casper. Seeing him like this helped me move easier. It was about him, not me now.
“I’m going to have them help me get him out of here and back home.”
“Why not just put him to bed here?” I asked.
“Because this isn’t home to Cas. If you ask him about this place, he’ll tell you it’s cold. I think he did this to punish himself. Another way to keep a wall between us, but this time, it’s towns and roads and hills. He could have made this place a home. Instead, he let someone else decorate it with things that weren’t really him and he paid a shit ton for it. He doesn’t belong here.”
I looked at Reed, noticing the worry in his eyes as he gazed down at Casper. “He belongs at your house.”
He lifted his head. “We all do. It’s our home.”
Shaking my head, I said, “It’s your home, Reed. Not mine.”
