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“Alright, Big Mike. Looks like you get to live to see another day.” Damien unlocks the bar, but the second the man steps out, I meet him with a blade held to his throat.
“You will be receiving a phone in the mail. If anyone tries to threaten you again all you have to do is get the lock pattern wrong one time. No alerts will go off when you do this, and the mic will come on in the background. You will relay as much as you can as soon as you can.”
To his credit, Big Mike doesn’t flinch.
“And what if they have my family?”
I put away the knife, knowing I’m dealing with a sensible man here. “Then we will get your family back. I do not take kindly to people harming children, and we will fight with you. Just don’t get caught in the crossfire again, you might not end up so lucky next time.”
He nods and Havoc escorts him out of the basement. I let out a long breath, knowing that shit’s about to get a whole lot harder.
“We got your back, Lucky Charm.” Lev says, wrapping his strong arms around me.
I let his strength bleed into me as I think about everything that needs to happen over the next seventy-two hours. Looks like I’m getting married with the entire underworld as our witnesses.
Just like every girl could dream.
???
The thing no one tells you about dreams and trauma is that they aren't always an exact picture of what happened. The trauma morphs in your mind, spreading across your daily life. It’s almost like you relive it, but your new memories are twisted up with it.
That must be why I see BD in the room with me as Rostya sprays me down with a hose, naked and trapped in a corner. The more I remember, the more I realize just how much he tried to take from me.
BD sits huddled in the corner with me as we try to fight the torrent of the spray. If I turn my head, Rostya will force me to look at him while the water pierces my lungs, so I sit here and take it. This time, though, BD holds my hand.
It doesn’t make the pain lessen, but it helps my mind not to spiral quite as bad. He looks into my eyes with understanding, just like he did when he watched me butcher one of the guards who tried to rape me.
I think back to when he got his name as the water continues to hit me with a force stronger than a fire hose. Havoc and I were sparring when he came in, a new recruit looking for a partner on the mats. He looked at Havoc and asked to go a few rounds with him, looking me over and ignoring me.
When Havoc smiled like a maniac and winked at me, I took that as my cue to put the asshole in a headlock until he nearlypassed out. We named him BD because we joked about him always having ‘Big Dick’ energy.
He was a good sport about it though and never seemed to look over me again. We weren’t friends, but we weren’t enemies. And sometimes in our life, that’s enough to make you fond acquaintances.
“Princess, wake up.” Alexi’s voice is soft as I blink open my eyes. Tears run down my face and I wipe at them, frustrated over the whole thing. I hate the nightmares, but this is almost worse. I’m mourning a man I hardly knew. A man who gave up his life for mine. I just don’t understand it.
“Why are you angry?” he asks, laying on his side with one arm propped under his head. I feel Lev and Damien behind me and assume they are still sleeping, so that means I didn’t wake anyone up screaming. That’s an improvement.
I sigh and turn my face into my pillow, trying to find the words to express how I feel. He gives me the space I need to get them out.
When I turn back to him, his eyes twinkle in the moonlight. The windows in our room catch the glares off the moon so well, and it lights up my dark knight beautifully.
“I’m angry BD sacrificed himself to get us a message.”
“Why? That was a faster death than he would have received if he was caught by Adrik as a traitor.”
Of course he would be thinking logically right now.
“But if he had just gotten away, then he wouldn’t have had to die. I don’t understand why he would die for me. We had a few jobs together here and there, but we were both lone wolves. He didn’t owe me anything, especially not his life.”
Alexi smiles, something that’s fairly rare, and only frustrates me more because it’s like he understands and I don’t. He quickly hides the stupid smirk when I narrow my eyes at him.
“He didn’t do this because he owed you, Princess. He did it because he believed in you and your cause. He understood that not all wars are fought by saving yourself; they are won with sacrifice. A lot of sacrifice. Do not tell me you believe he would have been happy to run and hide to escape his fate.”
I turn onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow.
“I don’t want people to sacrifice themselves for me.”
My voice is muffled, but he knows what I’m saying. Alexi pulls on my shoulder. When I don’t give in, he sits up and tugs my body until I’m positioned on top of him. His hands hold either side of my face, forcing me to look into his eyes.
