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A knock sounds at the door and I stumble to get it. We’re all wearing the adorable red pajamas that Lev picked out for us, so we would be comfortable while getting ready. All of my boys had a hand in this day.
The food was from Alexi, all of my favorites perfectly prepared. I have no doubt he was the devil in that kitchen, barking orders out if he didn’t just take over and do it all himself. He also wrote me the sweetest letter that nearly brought me to tears, but I won’t be a woman who cries on her wedding day.
Damien, naturally, is responsible for my current half drunk state. He hasn’t had a drink for as long as I can remember now, but he likes to see me tipsy now and again. He says I can deep throat better when I’ve had a few drinks.
Ever the romantic.
He knows Jack and Cokes with Laney are a tradition for us, and though there will be no alcohol at the venue today, for a plethora of reasons, he wanted to make sure I had a good time with my girls. I also think it was a ploy to get me relaxed and not overthink everything like I have been over the past three days.
Boris helped us balance a wedding that we wanted and what the stuffy traditionalists would want to see. Most of it I didn’t mind agreeing to, but the white dress was vetoed by me, as well as the fact that he thought I should just marry one of my men for the sake of those who just don’t understand.
That idea did not go over well and didn’t last for more than ten seconds. He may be starting to understand what we have, but others won’t, and that’s okay.
I don’t care if they do. All I need is for them to fight alongside us and keep their opinions to themselves so I don’taccidentallystab them. That would just look bad on my part.
I open the door to find Havoc there, grinning at me. “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”
I bark out a laugh that ends in a hiccup and he cracks up.
“Not a very bridal look, but we can roll with it.”
Before I open the door wider to let him in the room, he eyes the two guards at the door. I already verified their identities and made sure Boris was aware which of his men were here should anything go south, but Havoc is a cautious one.
Once he seems satisfied, he closes the door behind him.
“Where’s my girl?” he asks quietly, and I point to the angry blonde woman on the couch fighting with a fuming Irish warrior over makeup.
“Just let me add some blush and braid your hair,” Laney pouts.
“Laney, I agreed to the eyeliner and that’s it. No one is going to see me anyway! I’ll be hiding out and watching everyonethrough a scope. I do not want to have to worry about makeup on the lens.”
Havoc approaches Laney and scoops her into a hug while giving Nessa a look that says ‘run’. It makes me smile seeing how well my family knows one another, and how we all silently come to each other’s aid.
Nessa gives me a look and grabs her bag. Before she leaves, she brings me in for a quick hug.
“I’m happy for you,” she whispers only for me to hear, and I squeeze her tight for just a second. It means so much to me that she’s risking her life by being here, considering she’s supposed to be in hiding.
Laney’s clearly distracted by the kiss Havoc is giving her, so I slip into the bathroom to put on my dress. It’s the one thing I wanted to do alone.
Once I’ve closed the door, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. For a moment, I picture my mother here with me. I can imagine her smile and hear her say how happy she is for me. For a second, I’m sure I can smell the faint scent of her perfume wafting in the air.
I picture Lev’s mom here telling stories about the boys as we all get ready, and Alexi’s mother looking regal as ever as she takes my hand in hers and squeezes her approval. Then, I picture Damien’s mother, fussing over my hair and cracking jokes just to get me to relax.
I imagine them all having a special part in our day because it would be theirs too. A lone tear falls from my eye as I think of everything that could have been if it weren’t for my uncle, the common denominator in all of our tragedies. It kills me to think of the life we all could have lived.
It's then that I remind myself that it's because of all I've endured that I'm able to stand here, surrounded by people who love me. Havoc, who I love like a brother. Laney, who is simplyirreplaceable. Nessa, whose fire burns so hot it helps keep mine lit when I’m struggling.
So many life-changing people have come to me when I needed them most and filled a void I never thought could be mended. We are united against the man who made us bleed in misery, together we will make him bleed for our happiness and closure.
Unzipping the dress, I step into it as I reflect on every person I have to be thankful for today. While the wedding isn’t what we would have planned if it had been up to us, it really is going to be a beautiful day.
A soft knock sounds at the door as I struggle to get the last bit of the dress zipped. As I open it, Laney comes in quietly. She must sense how I’m feeling because she’s never quiet.
She ties the ribbon at the base of my spine and smiles at my reflection in the mirror.
“You’re absolutely perfect, Evie. As regal as a queen.”
Havoc clears his throat in the doorway. I see so many emotions flutter across his face before he settles on one, and I know now is the perfect time.
