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Somehow, Landon became my lifeline, the oxygen I breathe, the food I eat, and the sweetest voice I cannot get out of my mind, and now all of that is gone. Maybe it’s better that he is notshowing up, not asking me to forgive him and all that because I am weak. Damn it, I am so weak when it comes to him. Despite my little show in his office, telling him I no longer need an explanation, I need one very much! And if he gave them to me, I would take him back right away.
No, Lexi, grow some self-respect, woman! The guy used you, lied to you, and was a grade-A asshole. You need to keep your legs closed and your mind off of him.
I keep repeating that mantra to myself; however, with every repetition, it feels more and more wrong.
I know what I felt with Landon, and I know what he felt with me. Our relationship was nothing like what I had with Stuart. Lan didn’t try to keep me as a dirty little secret, and in fact, it was me who demanded we keep our love-life private. He wanted to go out with me anywhere and everywhere. He was not afraid of being seen with me.
Maybe there is more to this story, and now I wonder what my father knows. Should I call him and ask? No, no, I need to hear it from Landon, and if he decided to never come clean to me, to not share this part with me, then so be it. I will forget it, forget him.
Or I’ll try.
Oh, and apparently, moving away is not an option because as soon as Kate heard it, she nearly choked me to death. So, yeah, New York it is. The land of them demons.
Another day goes by without a single word from him, and then another. It has now been a week since I received that call from hell.
Exactly a week of sleepless nights and a heavy heart. A week of pain and tears to the point of complete emptiness, I’ve cried them all.
So, when I woke up this morning, I decided to do something I really should not be doing…
***
“I shouldn’t be here,” I mumbled to myself as I stepped through the entrance and made my way toward the receptionist.
Why did I think this was a good idea? What if he will be pissed that I showed up?
Hell, what right do I have to be here. Yet I can’t stay away any longer. I need some answers. I need closure.
A lady in her mid-fifties was sitting at the front desk and greeting me with a warm motherly smile, “Hello, what can I do for you today?”
“Um, Hi.” The freak-out level was at least a ten at the moment, and I was nervously touching my hair and chewing on my lips. “I’m here to visit someone,” I say, and the lady asks me for a name.
After looking up the information, I am directed to the third floor, room 315. As soon as I come face to face with the door, my hand reaches for the knob with a shake. I suck in a sharp breath and give a soft knock, opening the door.
Here we go… Nice to meet you, Mrs. Locke.
On the scale of how stupid and idiotic it was for me to show up here, I’d say this is it. This was the top level.
I am sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I couldn’t not to.
The room isn’t too large. Right in the middle is the hospital bed in which lies a young woman—I assume this is Jennifer. She has all kinds of tubes and needles sticking out of her, with monitors beeping non-stop, and at first, I thought she was simply asleep.
She looks so peaceful yet troubled at the same time. I have no idea what her condition or diagnosis is, hence, another reason why it was so stupid to show up in the hospital in the first place.But when I take another step, I see a nurse standing in the corner.
“Oh, hello, sorry, I can come back later,” I tell the nurse.
She smiles at me. “No, no, honey, please stay. It is lovely that you came by, Jennifer didn’t have any visitors yet and I’m sure she’d love to hear a familiar voice.
Umm, what??? What does she mean Jennifer didn’t have any visitors yet? It’s been a week since Landon fled the office to come here.
Or did he?
What exactly is going on here?
I feel extremely uncomfortable being here now. This is all wrong, I shouldn’t have imposed like that, but this is plain sad. This gorgeous woman lying here all by herself. Yes, you can tell that whatever sickness she is battling took a toll on her body, but I have no doubt she was a head-turner before all this. She looks to be around the same age as Landon or maybe a little older with dark brown hair, and even though she’s lying down, I can tell she is tall.
“How is Jennifer doing?” I ask the nurse as if I’m not a total imposter and what’s even worse a husband stealer.
I should be disgusted with myself.
