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Resting my head on his shoulder, I relaxed against him. We sat there until the sun began to go down in silence. I was so drained, all I wanted to do was sleep. He followed me home and made sure I ate before giving me time to myself, which I appreciated. As much as I wanted to go to sleep in his arms, I understood we needed space. I meant it when I told him I was glad he hadn’t given up on me. Now that I was more out of my emotions, I didn’t want anything to stop what Jeremy and I were building—not even me. After showering and getting in bed, I began to look for therapists who specialized in survivor’s guilt. I’d dealt with this enough, and I couldn’t go on allowing it to rule me.
Twenty-Three
Jeremy
That Weekend
I hadn’t seen my baby in two days, but what she did today made up for it. Along with the snake case, I had mediation between an artist and producer that had taken priority. Thankfully, we were able to get things wrapped up yesterday. The defendant settled and I was able to get my client three times what they’d originally asked for.
All I wanted to do was rest, and Maritza amplified that. She set me up to have a massage, the main areas in my home that I utilized were cleaned, and she had a private chef make my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Ironically, by the time the sun set, I gained energy. We ended up having some of our favorite snacks delivered and decided to have a movie night, and there was no other way I’d rather spend my night.
I was curious about if she’d gone to the doctor, but I hadn’t felt led to ask. If she wanted me to know, she’d tell me in due time. With a yawn, Maritza wrapped her arm tighter around me.
“Babe,” she called sweetly.
“Huh?”
“What are you thinking about?”
I wasn’t sure where she was going with this, so I didn’t know how to answer. “Why do you ask?”
“Because your heart randomly started beating really fast.”
Chuckling, I kissed the top of her head. “Something I don’t want to worry you with.”
“It’s worrying you, so I want to know.”
I thought about it for a few seconds before confessing, “I was wondering if you ended up going to the doctor.”
Maritza sat up, and so did I. She made her way between my legs and wrapped my arms around her.
“I didn’t.” Holding back my smile, I kissed her neck. “I realized I haven’t actively made a choice to heal and move on beyond a certain point over the last decade. I can admit that, without the fake marriage, I wouldn’t have given you or any other man a real chance because of my guilt. And I probably won’t actively try to have a baby again, no matter how much I want one, because of that same guilt. So… I’m letting fate decide. I prayed and asked God not to let me conceive if my trauma would be a detriment to me having a healthy relationship with the father or my child.”
“And marriage?”
She smiled, resting further into my chest. “I haven’t wanted to marry anyone, real or fake, until you. So I’m still on board for us doing the fake marriage for a year. If over the course of that time, I’m healed enough for the real thing…” Maritza tilted her head and looked up at me. “I want to stay with you.”
That was all I needed to hear. I used her neck to tilt her head back further. She bit down on her bottom lip and moaned before allowing me to slide my tongue into her mouth for a kiss. My hand made its way between her legs, and I was grateful she slept naked. I continued tonguing her down as my fingers circled her clit and played in her pussy. That shit was so wet the sound of her juices smacking against my fingers filled the room. When she started to get antsy and rock against me, I pulled away and leaned her forward until she was on her knees.
Getting behind her, I pressed my way inside of what was starting to feel more and more like heaven on earth.
“Damn,” I moaned, filling her to the hilt. I started slow, hypnotized by how good it looked watching my dick hide inside of her. “You take me so well.”
Maritza whimpered. The clear slickness that coated me quickly turned creamy and white. I learned quickly she was into praise kink, and I was more than willing to give that to my princess.
My strokes grew harder and picked up a medium pace. She gripped the comforter and melted into the bed as her toes curled. Her lips trembled as she looked back at me seductively.
I held her by her waist, trying not to lose myself in how good her ass cheeks looked rippling against me. If I did, this would turn into a quickie.
“Show Daddy how much you love this dick,” I coached, causing her to hum and rock against me. Her moans grew louder as her walls tightened. “You’re almost there.”
“Jeremy,” she moaned, looking back at me with pleading eyes.
“Hmm?” Her mouth hung open, but no words came out. “Talk to me, Lovie. Does it feel good?”
“Yesss,” she slurred as her walls began to pulse. “So good.”
“Mm, that’s my good girl.”
