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It sounded like a tough concession for her. He wanted her to be independent. Could she do that with guards trailing respectfully behind her? He was very used to that life and those restrictions. This was asking a lot of her—giving up her independence, heaping on the responsibilities of being queen, taking on seven children as well as their spouses and grandchildren, sharing his heart with her and Anne. If only he could explain better that he would always love Anne, but Madeline was front and center and all he could see right now.
The real question was … was being with him worth all she had to sacrifice? Could she separate him as a man from him as king and all his heavy responsibilities?
Nolan would have to somehow prove that he, and everything he brought to the table, was worth the sacrifice.
Chapter Twelve
Madeline shared a subdued breakfast with Nolan, and then she did as he’d suggested. She went to the top level of the castle and swam in the open air pool area for over an hour. Afterward, she took her time enjoying all the different features in the spa—the eucalyptus-scented steam room, the cold plunge that brought her temperature back down after sweating in the steam, and then the fabulous heated jet pool with the various massaging spouts that targeted the major muscle groups. She laid on the surprisingly comfortable heated tile beds until she dried off and then she used one of the massage chairs. She’d had many live person massages that weren’t that relaxing and thorough.
It was an ideal morning, but she missed Nolan. What meetings was she missing? Was there any insight she could’ve given that would help Nolan, Tristan, the prime minister, and Augustine?
She shook her head. She’d been attacked this morning, and she and Nolan were at a hard crossroads. It was all right to take a break and not think and worry for a minute.
If only she could truly do that.
Madeline returned to her suite, showered, and got ready for the day. Then she met Nolan, Tristan, Jennifer, Ray, and Macey for lunch. It was a relief to have the family with them, and everyone kept the conversation light and fun. She refrained from asking about the meetings she’d missed. It was silly that she felt like the king and crown prince couldn’t subsist without her input. They’d been doing a fabulous job for years, and Augustine was one of the most flourishing countries in the world. They didn’t need her, but she needed them.
At lunch, the talk was centered on the baby names Tristan kept trying out on Jennifer, obviously hoping for a reaction.
His top pics—Jaquavian and Frodo. His reasoning—their son would be an athlete or the hero of Middle-earth.
They all laughed at Tristan’s silliness and Jennifer’s jabs back at him. “Oh my, Big Bad Wolf,” she teased him. “What horrific logic you have.”
“All the better to make you smile with, my dear.” He took her hand and kissed it.
Madeline laughed along with the rest of them, but she caught Nolan’s concerned blue gaze on her and the laughter stuck in her throat. He was worried about her, and about them. She couldn’t blame him. She was worried about him, and about them.
After lunch, Nolan walked her back to her suite. “What are you going to do all afternoon?”
Madeline wanted him to beg her to come back to his side, sit through the meetings and give input after. Even more ideal … What if as his fiancée and then his wife, she could participate fully in the meetings, not hide as a spectator and give input after the fact?
She mentally shook her head. The meetings were the least of their concerns at the moment. “I thought I’d take your advice and read a book up in the solarium.”
“I wish I could sit by your side and read with you.”
Madeline smiled. His life was insanely busy, meeting after meeting after meeting. Everyone wanted the king’s attention and his opinion. If they did marry, could she take a bigger role in his meetings, or would she be relegated to some queen-consort role of meeting ladies for lunch and organizing banquets? That wasn’t her at all. If she wasn’t part of the meetings, what would she do with her time? Could she still be in parliament? Probably not. Definitely a conflict of interest.
It was interesting that the accomplished and organized king could so impulsively ask her to marry him last night, and she was the one who had to be logical and think through all the obstacles. Was that part of her appeal for him? That he wasn’t logical about her?
He was passionate, consumed, and made her entire body full of warmth.
Marry me. Soon.
She’d never forget the way he’d uttered those words, the depth and yearning in his blue gaze.
“What would you read?” she asked to get her mind off those feelings lest she act on them. Soon.
“You know …” He paused, as if considering. Since he never had free time, it probably was a stretch to think about sitting in the solarium and reading. “I’m a fan of The Lord of the Rings.”
Madeline burst out laughing. “You are not. You’re only saying that because of T’s teasing about baby names.”
“I am too.” He looked to be hiding a grin. “What would you suppose I like to read, if I ever had free time?”
The only free time he did have he spent exercising each morning and having dinner with and interacting with his children each evening. He was one of the best men she knew. Unselfish and full of purpose. Confident yet somehow approachable and unassuming.
“I think our serious and illustrious king only reads nonfiction—King Charles’ Autobiography or How to Run a Kingdom for Dummies.”
“You know, I have both on my nightstand.”
