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I quickly run to the bathroom and touch up my makeup before heading into the office.
The drive from the hospital to work is probably the first time I’ve felt real hope concerning Mom’s cancer diagnosis. Of course, she isn’t out of the woods just yet but it’s looking like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, finally.
Today,DeLisleis shooting the visuals for the ad campaign for our newest collection. We are doing it at Brooklyn Bridge Park with the bridge in the background.
Jeremy stops on the street in front of the site and I get out of the car. There’s a flurry of activity as my staff, makeup artists, hairdressers, interns, the photographer and his assistants all run around. However, my eyes go straight to the tall figure standing in a gray three-piece suit with his hand in his pocket, as cool as a cucumber in the sea of chaos.
Travis is here.
We haven’t spoken since that night and havebarely seen each other. I have been avoiding him, and I’m guessing he has been doing the same. So I am surprised to see him here.
Without wasting another second I walk up to him slowly. When I reach him, I clear my throat and say, “Hi.”
He takes a deep breath, then replies, “Hi…” We stare at each other for a long moment. Then he says, “Can I speak to you? In private?”
“Sure…” I start to walk off in the opposite direction of the crowd and only stop when I am sure we are out of ear shot.
“Your mother’s appointment was this morning, right? What did the doctor say?”
I am stunned. “How did you know?”
“You mentioned it a couple of weeks ago.”
“Yeah, but I can’t believe you remembered.”
He smiles and his eyes light up. “Of course, I remembered. You and your family matter to me.”
This is the Travis I had come to know. Not the man I spoke to during our last meeting. I guess both men are who he is. I would do well to keep reminding myself of that fact.
I clear my throat. “It was good news. The chemo worked enough that they are comfortable doing the surgery.”
He heaves a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
“Thanks…”
We look in every direction but at each other. It’s so awkward. I just may explode from the tension so I decide to move this along. “Is that all?”
He takes a deep breath. “No, it’s not. I actually came here because I need to say I’m sorry. I want to apologize for everything. I’ve been wanting to apologize ever since the morning after that God awful night, but I thought it would be better to give you space. You know, I thought it would be best if both of us had time to calm down before we talk.”
“Travis, it’s been two weeks. I told you I was pregnant and it’s taken you two weeks to reach out to me.”
He covers his eyes with the palm of his hand when he speaks. “Argh… I know. It’s so messed up. If I’m being totally honest, I stayed away mostly because I was embarrassed. I can’t believe how I handled everything.” He drops his hand to his side and takes a step closer to me. “Paige, I love you. The last two weeks without you have been excruciating.”
“That’s all well and good, but things are more complicated than that. There is the issue of your son; the fact that you kept his existence from me. Also, you’re not exactly happy about the child I am carrying. Those aren’t things pretty words can erase.”
“You’re right… First of all, I’m sorry for making you feel like I don’t want this child, because I do. I was just in shock that night. You have to admit, I’ve had my whole world turned upside down lately. I may not have reacted in the right way.” He pauses for a moment. “Actually, I’m not even sure there was a right way to have reacted.”
He’s probably right, but still…
I take a breath. “I understand where you’re coming from, but at the end of the day, I have to put this baby first. I can appreciate that it was a lot for you to deal with at the time, but I’m still not sure that you want the baby.”
He walks up to me and places his hands gently on my shoulders. “Paige, of course I want this baby. I want to raise this child with you. I know I fucked up by not telling you about TJ, but please, find it in your heart to forgive me. I have no excuse for what I did. I was scared and I messed up, but please, forgive me. Let’s put all this behind us and move forward.”
I take a step back, and his hands fall from me. “Travis, I do believe that you’re sorry, I do, but I don’tthink we have any business being together. I won’t keep the baby from you, you can be as involved as you want, but things are over between us.”
“Paige, don’t say that.”
“I’m sorry, but too much has happened. I love you, and I know you love me, but that’s not enough. Especially when a child is involved.” My hand goes to my stomach.
