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”Do I get a proper hug this time, before I leave?” he asks and I feel dizzy, collapsing in his arms when he embraces me. He grins and my heart pounds against his chest, knocking on a door and demanding entrance.
His smile melts away. There’s stillness between us and I barely dare to breathe. This moment isendearing. I don’t even pay attention to the other skaters, they may as well have dissolved into thin air and become one with the snowflakes. It’s just me and Hendryk. I’m looking up at him while he looks down at me and I want to bury my face in his coat and breathe in every cell of his.
”Kiss me,” I whisper and grow cold at the idea of rejection. If he tells me that he doesn’t have that kind of interest in me I’ll…
”Lift up those lips,” he replies and I gasp, raising my face as my eyes roll back in my head. Then something hardens in the air between us. ”Did you have wine?Again?”
He sounds angry.
Panting, my eyes flare at his tone. ”Just a glass for l…lunch.” To soothe my nerves.
”Ellie, you can’t keep doing this to me,” he growls, his frustration palpable and for a terrifying moment I think he’s about to be sick. ”Stop fucking contaminating yourself.”
Anguish pangs in his eyes before he squeezes them and tugs me to his lips. The kiss is impolite, rough enough for my skate to slide over the ice before I regain balance. His mouth turns strong, reprimanding and I flood with heat, knees caving. I think I’m going to fall apart.
We kissed. We finally did it.
I moan, wanting to part my lips for him but it’s over before I even get the chance. Hendryk breaks off the kiss right when it’s about to intensify and clears his throat. He shifts, murmuring something in my ear in a different language and his arms tighten around me before he lets go.
I want him to stay so bad, want him to deepen that beautiful kiss.
”What did I offer?” I whisper, clutching his coat. ”At the balcony, what did I offer?”
He doesn’t reply, just flashes a secretive smile before he leaves but I now know what it was. I can guess. I offered myself up. And he didn’t take the offer!
A voice tells me that maybe he didn’t want to take advantage of me, or maybe there was another reason but I don’t listen to logic anymore. I just want him more than ever. I want him so much I don’t know what to do.
To stop myself from following him, I continue twirling on the ice. I do pirouettes and jumps, because it’s not true what I told him. Of course, I know how to skate. I just pretended because I needed an excuse to be with him and because I have zero scruples.
And I can’t keep running into him. I’m becoming transparent, and he did say he thought this was gettingcreepy. Mortified, I spin around with my arms around me while looking up at the sky. I’m going to have to do something quick and drastic to make sure we have a future together.
I stop with the twirling and put my fingertips to my lips. They still tingle from the kiss.
Last night I got a clue, how a girl like me can snare Hendryk. It’s not something nobody in their right mind would do, but I don’t think I’m in my right mind anymore. There’s something inside of me that needs to be let out, something improper and it’s been brewing in me ever since I saw him. And now it’s cracking at the seams ready to…break free.
8.
Hendryk
Walking briskly, I accidentally kick a beer can into the street and let out a curse. I should watch where I’m going but I’m in a bad mood.
Annoyance grips me from all directions, as I make my way home from work. It’s been days since I last saw little Miss Shrapnel face to face. I miss my eyes on her. I miss her eyes on me.
I’ve been thinking about contacting her but something tells me, I should let her come to me if she wants something. It’s easier said than done. I keep hoping she’ll run into me. Yesterday, I even went to Tribeca to buy new paint even though there are tons of art supply stores at more convenient distance.
Shaking my head to myself, I walk inside my building in Hell’s Kitchen. The rent is small potatoes compared to what I’m used to, but I didn’t choose the area for the economical advantage. I chose it because it’s frowned upon by high-society. They avoid this place, which is exactly what I’m after. Those people tend to put their noses in everyone's business and keep you under a microscope, but I prefer to keep myself and my life private.
Walking through the entrance, I greet the doorman then take the elevator to the top floor. I drag my hands through my hair, answering a couple of texts and step out when the elevator stops. Still glancing down on my phone, I slowly pick up my keys and turn the lock when I catch something in my periphery.
It moves fast and fidgety.
At first, I brush it off as one of the neighbors and I’m about to say a quick hi when I realize it’s not a neighbor.
Ella Ashley’s striking colors seem dimmer than usual and she’s dressed in black sweats, nervously wringing her hands as she approaches.
The expression on her face is stricken as if she’s walking toward the guillotine. And the lights over her head, highlight the pale shadows under her eyes. Something’s off, her entire demeanor seems haunted but I tell myself to not jump to conclusions.
Swallowing, she stops in front of me but cowers as if our size difference suddenly bothers her.”Hey stranger,” she breathes.
