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She’d have one too if she could read his thoughts. Either that or she’d rupture something laughing.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m fine. All good.” She wouldn’t laugh. Not Lainie. Now, Steph was another story. She’d definitely laugh.
“Why don’t I believe that?”
She was entirely too perceptive. “Sorry, I’m processing ... stuff.” Time to move on to another topic. “Just to give you a heads-up, if things get, uh, awkward, feel free to just walk away.”
“Awkward?”
“With my dad and me.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s been years.”
“And he’s carried a grudge that long?”
“Well, he hasn’t called.”
“Have you called him?”
“In the beginning I did, but when he refused to talk—or would only talk through my mom—I finally gave up and told my mom that the ball was in his court.”
“Talk through your mom?”
“Yeah, you know. ‘Tell James I’m not interested in hearing about his cop work. When he gives up that nonsense, we’ll talk.’ Then he’d wait for her to repeat it.”
“Wow, that’s really sad.”
He snorted. “No kidding. More than sad. Just stupid.” She fell silent, but then he could feel her looking at him. He glanced at her. “What?”
“Years?” she asked.
“Years.”
“What about holidays?”
“The ones I’ve made? They’ve been painful. It’s been easier just to stay away.” Easier, true, but it wasn’t solving the problem. Why was he spilling all this to her? Between the PTSD and his family situation, she was going to think he was pitiful. “Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. I figure it’s only fair to let you know what you might be walking into.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She frowned. “How old are you? Thirty-one? Thirty-two?”
“Thirty-two.”
“How old were you when you joined the Army?”
“Twenty-two. After college.”
“So your father hasn’t talked to you inten years? Except through your mother? Steph’s never really said anything about this.”
“Eh ... he’sspoken, or rather grunted might be more accurate, but we’ve not had what I’d call a conversation. When I was just in the Army, he’d at least speak or answer a direct question, even if it was one or two words here and there, but when he learned I was working with the CID, he went mostly silent—or, again, only speaking through my mother. And, of course, once he finds out I’m with the police department, well, I don’t have to describe how that’s going to go over.”
“That’s why you didn’t tell your family you were back, isn’t it?”
He sighed. “Yes.”
She shook her head and turned her gaze back to the window. “That’s so wrong. I’m sorry, James.”
“Me too.” He fell silent, then nodded to her phone. “I’ve been thinking.”
