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Andie stares me down for a long moment before nodding reluctantly. “Fine,” she grits out, her fingers slipping free from mine as she takes a step backwards toward the door. “But I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“I swear.”
She nods, giving me one last sympathetic glance before turning around and leaving my room. And as soon as she’s gone, I swipemy phone off my nightstand and hit dial on my most recent missed call.
I hold my breath as the phone rings, still not sure what I’m going to say. I really should’ve just picked up the first time he called and tried to explain things, but I haven’t exactly been thinking clearly for the past day and a half. I’ve been floundering, just trying to keep my head above water while drowning in an ocean of foreign emotion.
The phone stops ringing, rolling into Javi’s voicemail, and I exhale a defeated sigh as I lower it from my ear and end the call.
Of course, nowhe’sthe one not answering. Things can never just be easy, can they?
I swipe to my messaging app, my heart sinking as I pull open our text thread and I see his string of messages that I never responded to.
I wept to that damn Jack Johnson song all morning.
Before overthinking what to say, I just send off a quick text with the first thing that comes to mind.
Lo:Can we meet?
I don’t expect an immediate reply since he didn’t pick up my call, but less than a minute passes before my phone vibrates in my hands.
Javi:Yes.
My heart pounds, my fingers flying over the keyboard on my screen as I type out my reply.
Lo:Now? Our usual spot?
Javi:Come to the motel. Room 9.
30
I’m a mess of nerves as I climb out of my little Volkswagen Jetta in front of the Twilight Grove motel, staring ahead at the dilapidated façade of the building as I push my car door closed. I’ve driven by this place countless times, but I’ve never reallylookedat it before; not like I am now. Weeds are sprouting up from the cracks in the pavement, some of the bricks on the outer walls crumbling and missing. This place looks like it should be condemned, yet Javi and his pack have been living here for weeks in squalor.
It doesn’t seem fair. Solely because of where I was born and who I was born to, I’ve always had it easy. I grew up in a big packhouse, surrounded with love and affection and never wanting for anything. I was able to pursue my passions in life, and now I’ve got a job I adore, a comfortable dorm room at the squad complex, and a cozy bed with fluffy pillows to lay my head on every night.
Meanwhile, Javi and his pack havethis.
I can’t blame them for wanting more. It feels wrong to turn them away based upon the former affiliation of one of their pack members, and as I stare at the building, I can’t help but wonder if the council would see things from another perspective if they were faced with this, too. I mean, wasn’t the alliance originally formed to give other packs a safe place to land? Are we really the kind of people willing to punish the many for the sins of the few?
A sick feeling curls in my gut as I step away from my car and start toward the front of the motel, eyes scanning the numerals affixed to the doors until I find the one I’m looking for. The metal number 9 is rusty, hanging slightly askew, and I’m acutely aware of the fact that I’m likely being watched as I step up to the door and lift a fist to knock upon it.
Our security squad implemented surveillance on this place as soon as we became aware Javi and his pack moved in. A week ago, I wouldn’t have risked coming here for fear of being spotted by one of our scouts. Now, I don’t really give a damn. By the time that guy’s shift ends and he reports back, I’ll have already come clean with squad leadership about what’s going on. There will be no more secrets; no more sneaking around. I’ll have nothing left to lose- which, though incredibly painful, is also oddly liberating.
I rap my knuckles against the door, holding my breath as I wait for Javi to appear on the other side. It’s only a couple of seconds, but it feels like slow agony as I listen for the sound of approaching footsteps from inside, waiting for the knob to turn. The hinges creak as the door swings open, and all the air leaves my lungs on a heavy exhale when I see him.My man.
He’s bare-chested and sweaty, as if he’s just returned from a run, and the sight of all that bulging, glistening muscle on display makes me a little weak in the knees.
Javi’s eyes widen slightly, almost like he’s surprised to see me standing here. A little strange, considering he’s the one who invited me over, but I guess I can’t fault him for being a bit off. I did just ghost the guy for the last day and a half.
“Lo,” he sighs out, his shoulders slumping in relief.
I’m not sure my name has ever sounded so beautiful falling from his lips with that delicious Spanish lilt. He reaches out for me, hands clasping firmly around my upper arms and tugging me over the threshold as he looks past me wildly, his head snapping back and forth as if to check that the coast is clear.
“What’s going on?” he demands, fingers squeezing against my biceps as he maneuvers me sideways and kicks the door closed. “I’ve been going crazy trying to get ahold of you!”
“I know, I know,” I breathe, shaking my head as blush of shame rises to my cheeks. “I should’ve called sooner, I just…”
Javi’s hands slide up to cup my face, the warmth of his rough palms seeping into my skin. “It doesn’t matter,” he rushes out. “I’m just glad you’re here now. Fuck, baby, I thought…”
