Page 8 of Her Drag Barbarian


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But if it meant getting even with Beau, it was worth it.

I went home and showered all the sticky water off me, seething at Beau the whole time, and I changed into a tight dress for the show that night.

I went to get a bunch of cash out for their tips, and I walked into the show with my pockets stuffed with tips for Maria Von Fapp. I suddenly gnawed my lips a bit apprehensively as I surreptitiously distributed them. It occurred to me that this was hardly in the job description of a conflict management specialist. This was more of a conflict wrecking ball specialist work. However, I shooed the thought from my head. Beau couldn’t guess what I had done, and he definitely wouldn’t have any proof.

Sweet would just think Maria had danced better, and if it made Sweet worry and be nicer, well, then, GOOD.

This plan seemed amazing until the show began.

Sweet was in a tight minidress with silver sequins tonight, her wig white and purple and braided into a long rope. I didn’t want to look at her, but she was such a compelling performer it was hard not to, somehow managing to dwarf everyone with every aspect of her performance. Her heels were higher, her lip-synching was better, her splits were deeper, her back was more arched, her moves were more reckless.

I began to worry that she was going to suspect a trick.

I had to give it to these theater students. They gave it their fucking all, whooping and hollering at every one of Maria’s moves and showering her with cash.

Maria Von Fapp looked pink and confused with the attention. I was new to drag but even I could tell that Maria wasn’t remotely at Sweet’s level. While Sweet strutted with unbound confidence, Maria was still a bit awkward.

That’s OK, I reassured myself.This is the encouragement Maria needs to give her the confidence to get better.

But as one of the students came up to give Maria a tip, crawling on his belly on the floor in respectful adoration as he handed her a $50, I saw Je Sweet turn her head on the stage and lock eyes with me.

I felt a cold shiver of fear go down my spine.

She couldn’t possibly know what I had done. Right?

Rupert came up to me before the final number, sweating profusely. “Did you figure out anything that would keep us open?” he asked anxiously.

“Definitely!” I said promptly. “We can fix these problems.”

“My doctor is insisting that I take a few weeks of vacation for my health,” he said. “I’ll be at a stamp collecting convention in Topeka and then going to see my mother.”

“Sounds. . .relaxing,” I said, but privately I was glad he was going. He was way too jittery and micromanagy.

I had recommended more security guards, better security guards, and stricter security for who could be backstage after the show or before the show. Also, we were fucking doing an Out of This World Fantasy & Sci-Fi Night and Beau could eat a fat bag of dicks.

I left as soon as the show was over, hurrying out the door past all the happy patrons at the outdoor cocktail tables, and down a side street where I had parked for an easier getaway against traffic.

I had just taken out my keys when I felt a big hand on my back and I was shoved into the side of my car.

“What thefuckdo you think you’re doing, Elowyn?” I heard Sweet growl angrily in my ear, still in her drag as she pressed me up against the car. I could feel her long bare legs on mine.

“Let me go, Je Sweet,” I said angrily, trying to get free, but she had one hand on the back of my neck and she was very strong.

“Stop trying to play these little games with me,” she said.

“What games?” I asked, and she ground my face into the side of the car, dirt getting into my mouth.

“You hired a bunch of gay guys to whoop and holler at a drag queen show,” she snorted. “Dumbass.”

I froze for a second, and a “damn it” escaped my mouth before I could stop it.

I tried to recover with, “I guess Maria’s performance was just that good,” but I knew it was a losing gambit.

Sweet laughed derisively, her breath warm on my neck, stirring the tendrils that had escaped from my braid. “You should leave, Elowyn,” she said. “You don’t know shit about drag and you’re just going to make it worse.”

“At least there haven’t been any on-stage accidents since I had the cameras installed and new security guards!” I shot back heatedly. “You don’t realize how close this club is to going under, no matter how much moneyyoubring in.”

Sweet said nothing for a second, and I could feel her against me, cruel arms pressing me harshly into the car.

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