AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Sophia, wait!" I call, reaching out to catch her wrist as we walk out onto the street, but she jerks away.
"Get away from me," she snaps. "I need...I need some time to breathe and decompress, okay? Fuck."
She keeps walking, headed toward the subway. She's crying, the city lights illuminating golden streaks down her cheeks. I can't believe I did that to her so fast—that I made her cry like this.
"Please," I beg. And that's what I'm doing now—I'm begging, ready to give her whatever she wants. I can't believe I let all thesestupid hang-ups get in the way when I have the perfect woman aching to start a life with me...
I'm such an idiot.
"At least let me drive you home," I plead. "You don't have to take the subway."
"I'm a grownup, and I can take care of myself," she mutters. "I've been taking the subway for years."
"But—"
She hooks left and descends into the subway station, and I stay right on her heels. I'm starting to feel like a creep chasing her like his, but I don't know what I'm going to do if she leaves for good. The one thing I know for certain is that I can't lose her.
"Look, Ryan," she says. "I know I've been an idiot, and I'm embarrassed, okay? I'm fucking ashamed that I thought we would...fuck, I can't even say it."
"You weren't an idiot," I say. "I was—"
"But you've been telling me what you want, and I just didn't get it," she says. "I need to figure this out. You need to leave me alone...and we can go our separate ways."
Those words crack me in two, making me feel like the world is hurtling to its end. "Please, Sophia, talk to me," I ask one more time.
"We've talked enough," she says.
Before I can say another word, she sidesteps me and jumps through the door of a recently arrived train, just in time for the doors to shut behind her. All I can do is watch as the doors slide closed, her tear-streaked face visible through the window...and I realize I don't even know where she lives.
She's going somewhere I can't follow.
I stand with my hands at my sides, and my shoulders slumped as the train starts to move, her eyes following me the whole time. I'm so angry at myself for hurting her—for impulsively asking ifwe could have a do-over, for telling her I don't want a baby with her.
Because if she's pregnant...fuck, I would propose on the spot.
I would give anything to have that with her.
If only I could get over this not-so-little hang-up.
I don't hear from her for three days...and those are the longest three days of my life.
Tex is clearly upset that I drove her away (though I'm not sure how he even knows that's what I did), and he refuses to sleep in the bed while she's not here. Work feels hollow. In fact, everything feels hollow.
We've been together such a short time, but she's somehow everywhere in my apartment. Traces of her remain in the kitchen, on the couch, in my bed. I keep finding long, curly red hairs on my clothes, and I can't...I can't breathe when I think about how badly I messed things up.
I want to go to the White Oak to see her, but at the same time, I can't bring myself to step foot in the club.
That's how I find myself heading to the Amber Room one evening instead, a high-dollar jazz bar a few blocks away from the White Oak. I gather up my friends from the whiskey club like a war council, preparing to go into battle to win back the love of my life...and to get over the stumbling blocks in my way.
Because even though I want to give her everything, even though I would offer her the world, I keep thinking it's too selfish to start a family at my age.
Gavin is waiting for me with Quinn when I get there, and Diego is running late as usual. They wave me over to their table,and I take a seat with a sigh. Some singer performing onstage with red hair like Sophia's makes my heart pound.
I miss her so much, and it's only been a few days.
"Thanks for meeting me here, guys," I mutter. "It's been a rough week."
We order our drinks, and Diego joins us a few minutes later, slapping me on the shoulder with a grin. They're all in a good mood, their lives going just peachy.
