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"Big push, Eve!" Beatrice encouraged and I yelled in the pain.
Within seconds after, I felt the most unusual sensation as my baby left my body, causing the pain to stop almost instantly.
"Here she is!" Beatrice sang, and I heard the delighted sound Lilly made as Beatrice placed my baby directly onto my chest. Her little body wrapped in a towel, her face so beautiful and little that I feared offering her my hand would result in me breaking her. As a tear ran down my face, I fell in love with her and I could feel my body radiating with love.
Beatrice rubbed at her back, encouraging her to cry. The seconds until she eventually did felt like forever, praying she would exercise her lungs and breath for us. Hearing her little cry, and feeling her little hand wrapping around my finger, I kissed her precious little head and stared up at Kit. I'd never seen him looking like this. His face was like something I knew I'd never forget and he came closer to kiss my forehead, coughing away what sounded like a lump in his throat. He had his hand extended, holding onto our baby’s little hand as she gripped his finger tight.
When she started fussing, I took the opportunity to try our first ever attempt at breastfeeding. It was something I was totally clueless at, but was determined to do it nonetheless. Making my breast bare for her to seek out, I gently positioned her body and head the way I'd been told and like magic, my little girl opened her mouth and began nibbling her gums against my nipple until eventually she began to suckle ever so slightly. I couldn't comprehend the enormity of love that I felt watching her hands extending to hold onto my breast. I stared up at Kit, his face a priceless expression as his love portrayed through his eyes.
"Do we have a name?" Beatrice asked once I'd kissed Kit.
"I think we're going to call her Erin," I answered her and then smiled at her.
"A beautiful name," she answered as I looked up to Lilly.
She was crying and sniffled a giggle as she saw me staring. Then I looked back at Kit, knowing we'd created this beautiful little soul. I knew at that moment that I would never let another living soul harm her.
That I would give my life protecting her, then come back to life purely to protect her If I had to.
"I love you," Kit said as I shed a tear.
"I love you too, so much."
During and after Erin was feeding, Lilly took the opportunity to take photos. Then Beatrice began cleaning me up, making sure everything had successfully left my body during my labour so that she could start the process of cleaning the mess away that had been caused.
Feeling less wet and uncomfortable, I was able to lift my legs and turn. I handed Erin to Kit, smiling at him as he made sure to take his time holding her correctly. Just seeing her in his arms made my heart expand. Seeing Kit holding our baby made him look irresistible. It suited him perfectly.
I needed to wash myself quickly, and I did that in record time so that I could return to our little girl. It wasn't as easy as I thought. Having a baby took it out of me, and my body still hurt. After the pain I'd just experienced, I was happy to feel a little light cramping, and didn't care that my vagina felt like it had been battered. I was just so happy that the pain I'd felt had gone, and now I could stare at my precious little girl.
Once I sat back down on the bed, Lilly left us alone and we awaited the arrival of Kit's brothers. The short while we had alone allowed us time to bask in this moment together, and I closed my eyes as Kit kissed my forehead, laying a beautiful calm over my body.
"I knew you could do it," he said, making me smile.
"You did amazing, Eves."
I thanked him and glanced back at our baby laying peacefully in my arms, her fingers exploring her little mouth. It made us both chuckle as she yawned, her little facial expression changing and relaxing again into a sleep.
"She's so beautiful. She looks just like you," he said, hovering over us.
I shook my head, "I think she looks like you. She has your dimples, your cheeks and—"
"She has your beautiful eyes," he interrupted.
It made my insides tingle, and I smiled up at him.
"She's perfect," he added.
As I stared at her longer, I felt now more so than ever that a new chapter in my life had begun. A new start at life after all the blackness I had experienced. Of course, staring at her, I wished more than anything that my parents and brother could be here to see her. A small tear was shed thinking about them, as I gently stroked Erin's face. She was unlike anything I'd ever seen, like nothing I'd ever felt before.
She was my miracle, the light in which to lead me forward past all the heartache I'd been through.
Soon Kit's brothers piled into the room, edging slowly closer once inside. They each approached like curious children until eventually their eyes landed on Erin and their faces changed. It was a sight to behold, and as I passed Erin to Nick, Jax came towards me for a hug. He congratulated me.
"Well done, Eves," Jason said from the end of the bed. Eric agreed, coming close to hug me also.
I smiled, feeling so accomplished after making it through labour. For a second there, under so much pain and feeling so helpless, I feared that It would never end. Now, as Kit's brothers gently passed her around, sweetly supporting her head and each kissing her forehead and saying a few words, I was in awe.
I noticed Lilly recording, just as captivated as myself. She smiled at me, wiping away a tear as Erin was eventually handed to Kit. Within his arms, his brothers crowded around him, each commenting on the things she was doing or the way she looked. I was speechless, lost in the moment and in adoration for these five men that had somehow become my family.
As I sat there staring at each of them, my heart felt warm and delighted. Despite everything that had happened, as always, I felt at home with these set of weirdos. The way that they were looking at my daughter summed it up for me.
They were my people, and I was theirs.
They were my family, and I'd keep them forever.
