AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Yes, I can. You can call my bodyguards and tell them you're done with me for one sitting."
"You're acting fucking crazy," he muttered before placing himself between me and the door.
"Get out of the way or I'm gonna show you the meaning of crazy!"
"No, I'm not gonna let you do this again. You can't just run away from everything every time it gets hard, Eves!"
His words were only making me angrier, even if they were true.That's exactly what I did. I'd get hurt and I'd put my barriers up, but how could he blame me? Knowing Kit had been so painful and it just wasn't getting any better.
"I told you, no more lying! I'm not gonna stay home like a damn idiot whilst everyone includingMaddieknows everything about everything that's going on whilst I'm kept in the dark!"
"Jesus, Eves, it's not like that..." Kit sighed.
"And I've told you, me and Maddie are just partners. That's it—"
"Save it, I'm not a mug, Kit."
I pushed him out of the way and I was surprised that he actually moved.
"I'm just fucking scared, Eves, okay?" he blurted from behind me just as I was about to open the door.
It made me freeze and I glanced back around at him.
"Yes, I blame myself for your family's death and I'm fucking scared I can't stop it happening to you as well. I keep fucking up, that's what's really bothering me. I keep making mistakes and I'm so afraid that one day my stupid mistakes are gonna bemajorfucking mistakes." He took a breath.
"I don't want you to be scared too, I have to be strong for you and make you feel safe, so you can trust me. Or else, what good am I?"
I faced him and shook my head.
"You don't have to be strong for me twenty-four-seven, Kit. You're human. Everyone makes mistakes and you're asking too much of yourself. I don't need you to protect me—"
"That's what I do, Eves. I protect you. I won't ever stop protecting you. I'm trying to protect you and our baby because all this worry isn't healthy. I'm trying so hard not to fuck up and I just keep doing it anyway."
His words were making me cry, I tried to stop it by looking away but I just couldn't help it. I dropped my bag and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and getting myself comfy against his chest. After hugging me he brought his fingertip to my chin so he could direct my head up to look at him.
"I can't force you to talk to me," I said defeated.
"But, if you don't want to, I..." I trailed off and looked away, afraid of what it meant.
"I"m trying to let go of that guilt, the guilt I have linked to your family."
I looked up into his eyes and nodded.
"And I'm trying not to fuck up anymore, I swear to god."
"You have nothing to be guilty for, you have to know that."
Kit shook his head and walked away from me so he could sit on his bed.
"Your dad was the first person to show me what it was like to have a father. Arealone."
Hearing Kit talking about my dad formed a lump in my throat. I moved towards him and stood between his legs as I brought his head to my chest. Cradling it there, I ran my fingers through his hair as tears welled up in my eyes.
"I knew something was happening, and I didn't make him listen. If I'd have just..." Kit couldn't finish his sentence and a tear ran down my cheek as I held onto him tighter.
"See?" Kit pulled away from me and gestured at me crying.
"This isn't fair on you. Me bringing them up like this, it's not good for you… I just keep hurting you, all the time."
