Page 104 of If We Say Goodbye


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Jordy kneels next to me to help clean, but I can see the tears building up.

“Hey,” I say, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“I was stupid. I knew the bowl was there.”

“No, don’t say that. You are not stupid. You made a mistake. We all make those.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” he mumbles.

I shake my head. “I make mistakes all the time.”

“Like what?”

I scoop a handful of the buttery popcorn off the floor and set it into the bowl. “Well, one time, I put salt into lemonade instead of sugar.”

He scrunches his face. “Gross.”

“Right?” I laugh. “Another time, I burned soup. Do you know how hard it is to burn soup?”

That elicits the smallest laugh from him. “I don’t think cooking is your thing.”

“I definitely have to work on it, but it’s okay. I’m good at other things. People don’t have to be good at everything, and they don’t have to be good all the time.”

He starts to pick up the popcorn.

“What are some things you’re good at?” I ask.

He twists his mouth in thought. “I like science, and I like rocks.” His eyes get big. “I know a lot about dinosaurs. I think, if someone ever cloned them, I’d be the perfect person to take care of them. I know what they like to eat, and I know all of their names.”

I pick up the last piece off of the floor. “So, who cares if you dropped the popcorn? Popcorn has nothing to do with dinosaurs.”

He stands up and takes the bowl, wrapping his arms around it. “Yeah, who cares about the popcorn?”

“That’s more like it.” I grin.

His gaze shies away. “Becca?”

“Mhmm?”

“Am I your friend too? Or do you just hang out with me because I’m Caleb’s brother?”

“Of course we’re friends.” I lean closer to whisper. “Do you think I make cookies for just anyone?”

He grins. “That’s good because I like you. I don’t have that many friends.”

“I like you too.”

Caleb comes back into the room with a fresh bowl of popcorn.

Jordy looks down at his bowl. “I’m going to throw this away. I’ll be right back. Don’t start the show without me!”

This time. I sit in the center of the couch, leaving room on both sides to make sure Jordy can sit by me too.

Jordy wanting to be my friend makes my heart warm. He reminds me of myself in so many ways. We’re both sensitive and selective when it comes to making friends, and yet, he chose me. In a way, he makes me feel like I have a brother again.

I settle into the couch, letting myself relax and breathe as the boys come back.

Caleb wraps his arm around me, and I rest my head on his shoulder.

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