Page 110 of If We Say Goodbye


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I scrunch up my face as my mind wrestles with the two sides of me—the part of me that would always rather stay home and the part of me that wants to plan something special for Caleb, even if it means bundling up to go skating. “Okay. Ice skating it is.”

Mom claps. “Now what are you going to wear?”

“I don’t know. Clothes,” I say, backing out of the kitchen to avoid exciting her anymore.

Her jaw drops, and she claps her hand over her mouth. “Why don’t I help you pick your outfit?”

“N-no. You don’t need to do that.”

“Please. Just this once. I’ve always dreamed of doing things like this with my little girl.” Her pleading eyes tug at my heart.

“Fine,” I say.

Lunging forward, she abducts me into a hug. “You won’t regret it,” she says.

She kisses my forehead, and I push away, wiping it off. “I’m already regretting it.”

“Oh, stop. I love you.”

Those three words come out of her mouth so easily, but for me, I don’t know why I have to pry them out to ever say them back to anyone.

* * *

“Candy store?”Jordy asks from the backseat.

I didn’t plan to bring Jordy with us, but Mrs. Park had an errand. Leaving him at home isn’t the most responsible thing to do, nor is it legal. Besides, I bet he’ll love ice skating, and I like having him around.

“Nope,” I reply.

He pouts, crossing his arms. “Why won’t you just tell me where we’re going?”

I sigh. “Because that wouldn’t be fun.”

He gives me the stink eye. “You need to stop spending so much time with Caleb. You’re starting to sound just like him, and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

Caleb glances up at his brother in the rearview mirror. “You should feel honored.”

“More like . . . concerned,” Jordy says.

Our ice rink is smack dab in the center of downtown. It’s an indoor rink because the temperature never gets low enough here to have one outside.

I went through a phase one winter where I went to the rink so many times that I could skate backward and skate circles around Sadie. I wonder if it’ll be like riding a bike. Will I be able to jump back into it like no time has passed?

“Turn here,” I say.

Jordy gasps as soon as the large arena comes into view. “We’re going skating!”

“Have you ever been ice skating?” I ask, twisting back to see him.

“Nope.”

“You’ll love it. I say. Then, I turn to Caleb. “What about you?”

“It’s been a while. I’m not sure if I’ll be any good,” he says, parking the car.

“I haven’t skated in years either. We can be terrible together. It’s the perfect couple activity.”

He laughs. “It’ll be entertaining. That’s for sure.”

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