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“You have to be kidding me, Rebecca, really.” He bursts out laughing.
Jordan’s reasoning is simple and terrifying; at least Thomas would never make it off the rig to tell anyone.
Why not tell him now? Why not tell the bastard how good and pleasurable he can make me feel?
There’s this little speck of pride I feel when Jordan engages Thomas in a conversation before the chopper takes off.
The conversation is literally about how to have sex with me. He outlines all my sensitive spots and how to stimulate them perfectly to a discombobulated Thomas.
I just sit on one end of the chopper and blush heavily. I didn’t think I’d find it so hot...another reason why I don’t want Jordan to leave my life.
I want him to stay, do these things to me more every day. I want to find his own triggers as well and communicate to someone I hate, just like he’s doing to Jordan.
It’s toxic, but there’s no one to tell me it’s not hot.
Finally, the chopper takes off, and everyone becomes immersed in a world of their own. Jordan puts on a pair of Air Pods, and Thomas brings out a laptop to work.
I’m the only one doing nothing because I can’t bring my brain to focus on anything other than the fact that Thomas is going to die today. It plagues me heavily to think that I’m an accomplice to this.
The forty-five minutes from California to the middle of nowhere actually does my brain more harm than calm.
Surprisingly, the Pacific, instead of looking like a beautiful mass of water and life that I’m not used to, resembles a prison that I know I can’t escape from if it came down to it.
I tried to put myself in Thomas’s shoes. What if I was the one that was going to be assassinated today and what if I knew?
Would he jump into the ocean, into the chance of being eaten by sharks or drowning to death?
Because there’s no way he’s going to make a swim from where we are going back to land. It’s that kind of distance where you see nothing but water all around you.
His muscles will eventually tire out, and he’d either pass out from exhaustion or a very potent heart attack.
On the other hand, he could wait for Jordan to end him once and for all. I don’t even think he stands a chance against him physically, so putting up a fight would only be defensive.
He’s far too lanky, and Jordan is built like a tank compared to him. No matter how much stronger than me he is, Jordan would be five times stronger.
That’s scary to even fathom.
Instead of projecting myself into the body of another person and remaining in mine, content with my life of being an accomplice rather than a victim, it’s a lot easier.
Guilt is much easier than condemnation. The thoughts of knowing you die no matter what you do is scary, especially when it’s moments before your actual death. I’d rather be killed by surprise, thank you.
Once the chopper lands, my heart beats faster, and it was already beating crazy fast since the morning when I woke up.
I think I’m the one going to be having a heart attack today.
As we come out of the chopper, Jordan pulls me back right in front of Thomas and envelops me in a mixture of a hug and a kiss.
It’s a beautiful moment for me and a terrifying one for Thomas. Jordan’s hands wrap around my waist, and then my ass. I do the exact same to him.
“Fuck you for using me to make a point,” I chuckle when we eventually pull out. “But nice point, though.”
I don’t know how to look at him to convince him to stop, that I want him to hold me like this more, not just today being the last day.
Jordan
I’d be lyingto myself if I said that the emotions in her eyes are unreadable.
Don’t do this, her gaze states boldly.
