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Fresh tears started. “You would do that?”
“I’m embarrassed I didn’t think of it before creating all this trauma. Of course, Victoria needs to hold onto her mother’s name. I understand your reasons and I support them. Is that a fair compromise?”
I nodded, shocked that he was willing to bend for Victoria and for me. “You’re sure? You won’t change your mind after I’ve stopped being so emotional?”
“I won’t change my mind,” he assured me, wiping away a rogue tear. “I’m sorry I didn’t see how much losing that part of Jessica in your life would hurt. I like to think of myself as progressive and ‘woke’ but sometimes I’m just a dumb guy and need a little help.”
A watery chuckle escaped my mouth as I wiped away the remainder of the tears. “I don’t know what to think of you. You seem too good to be true. What’s your deficit? I mean, tell me now so I’m not thrown for a loop later.”
He looked baffled but tried to comply. “Um, I snore?”
I waved away that attempt. “Everyone snores at some point during their sleep cycle. Try again. Dig deep.”
“This is the weirdest Q&A I’ve ever played. Usually people try to play up their most desirable traits, not the ones that they’re trying to change.”
“Yeah, well, in my experience, people don’t really change so I need to know if there’s something about you that’s absolutely terrible.”
It was weird but I desperately needed something to stop me from feeling the way I did about him. It was irrational and outside of my comfort zone because we barely knew each other but there was something about him that made my heart flutter.
I needed it to stop so I could think straight.
He seemed to understand and actually smiled as he said, “I’m not perfect. Sometimes I’m grumpy when I come home and I just want to zone out and drink a beer until the day falls from my shoulders. I’m a terrible gift-giver. I never seem to know what the other person needs or wants. I’m a decent cook but I order take-out way too much because I don’t like a dirty kitchen and I’m a Star Wars nerd at heart. There, that’s all I can think of right now but if I remember anything else particularly heinous, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“How do you feel about dogs?” I queried, not ready to let him off the hook just yet.
“Love them.”
“Why don’t you have one?”
“Because I’m not home enough and I thought it was cruel to leave a dog home alone.”
Fair answer. “I feel kids should be raised around animals. Helps them to learn empathy,” I said. It was always mine and Jessica’s plan to get some kind of pet for Victoria when she was old enough. “Jessica talked about getting a beagle.”
He nodded, as if taking note, then asked Victoria in a soft voice, “How about you? Do you want a beagle? Do you want a puppy to grow up with?”
That one little action threatened to make my heart burst. He was too much. Too good. An excellent man. And he’d make a wonderful father.
“How do you feel about private versus public school?”
“I have zero opinion. Whichever school offers the best opportunities is my thinking. I went to a public school and I turned out pretty good but I don’t have a problem with private school either.”
Another good answer. “And what about boyfriends? Or sports? Or after school activities?”
“Boyfriends, that’s a tough one. I won’t lie, won’t be a fan. But I want my daughter to feel empowered to make her own choices about who she chooses to have in her life. Same goes for activities. I’d love if she could play the piano because my mother used to play but if that’s not her thing, she doesn’t have to.”
I was running out of questions. He had a solid answer for everything I threw at him.
But then he said, “I have a few questions for you.”
“Yes?”
“You said you’re determined to remain in Berkeley…would you be willing to give San Diego a trial run to see if you might be interested in relocating?”
“I have my shop,” I said but even as I said it, I knew it would be hard to leave Victoria behind when it was his time for visitation. The lump in my throat returned. “I can’t afford to lose my lease on the shop.”
“What if you hired someone to run your Berkeley shop while you were here?”
“I can’t really afford that,” I admitted.
