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“Yeah,” I admit. “It’s not about you. I’ve been attracted to guys before, but I’ve never really acted on it. With the way my mom talks about gay and trans people, I just …” I shake my head. “It was hard to ignore her voice in my head.”
“But you went to that club,” Cy says. The smirk on their face reminds me of what happened in the alley. I lean in this time and kiss Cy. Their tongue laps at my lips until I open my mouth, letting them in.
From all our previous hookups, I expect Cy to be rough. It’s kinda become our thing. So, I’m left surprised when their lips stay sweet. Cy kisses me deeper, our tonguesintertwining, but this feels different. Their hand goes to the back of my head, holding me there as we continue to kiss. I move my hand to Cy’s thigh, and my fingers brush against the fabric of their skirt. I’m moving my hand higher up their leg when the door slams closed.
We jump away from each other at the same moment, but as I turn and look at my dad, I know it’s too late. His jaw drops as he stares at us wide eyed. “Uh, Theo? Cy?” His hand points at each of us in turn as he mutters under his breath. “Somebody better tell me what’s going on here.”
I freeze. A cold feeling of dread travels down my spine.
“Nothing,” Cy answers. “It’s not a big deal. We were just joking around.” They cross their arms over their chest, but my hand is still on Cy’s leg. I feel the way they twitch as they lie.
“Is that right?” Dad asks. He places his hand on his hip, taking a stubborn stance of his own.
“No,” I answer. “I—we … I don’t know what it is,” I admit. It would’ve been smarter of me to keep my mouth shut and let Cy take the fall. But I’m still riding the high of coming out to my mom. I don’t want to lie and hide this anymore.
“You’re stepsiblings,” he says. “This can’t—Thisisn’thappening. Not under my roof.” It’s not often that Dad loses his temper, but I can already tell this is going to be the exception.
Cy’s hand goes on top of mine, and they take a deep breath. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’m moving—”
“No,” I cut them off. “You don’t have to do that.” I turn to look at Dad. “I’ll get my shit and be out.”
“Theo, wait. That’s not what I meant, dammit.”
I tune him out. I’m already halfway up the stairs, but I hear the echo of footsteps behind me. My mind goes on autopilot; I grab my duffel, shoving clothes into it. “Theo,” Cy’s voice makes me pause. “You don’t have to leave. Where are you even going to go?”
I grab their wrist, pulling them into my room and closing the door behind us. “I’ll crash with Eric for a bit if I have to. It’s not a big deal. I was already planning on getting an apartment.” I was just figuring I’d have more money saved up when I did leave.
“I don’t get it, though. It’s not like we’re dating,” they say.
My hand hesitates, still holding a shirt. “I meant it. I don’t know what we’re doing, but I don’t want it to stop. At least not because of this.”
“What are you saying?” Cy asks. Their eyebrows furrow together.
“I don’t know. It’s probably ridiculous to even consider,” I shake my head, not finishing the sentence.
Cy takes a step closer, their lips meeting mine in another quick kiss. “You want to be my boyfriend? I’m open to the idea if you are.”
“Theo,” Dad calls through the door. His knocking is loud, impossible to ignore.
“I need to go,” I tell Cy. “I’ll text you, and we’ll talk. Either way, I can’t be here tonight.” I sling my duffel over my shoulder.
Dad is standing in the doorway as I open my door. “Theo,” he says my name again, but I don’t wait for whatever he’s about to say. He’s not blocking my way, and it’s easy enough to push past him and head down the stairs. I don’t know that anything will come of this, but it’s better that I’m not in the same house as Dad tonight. We don’t need to say something we’d regret.
I toss my bag in my car and drive. I’m halfway to Eric’s apartment when I realize I should probably call him first. The phone rings, the noise echoing over the car speakers as I drive. Then Eric’s voice comes through. “Hey Theo, what’s up?”
“Uh, any chance I can crash at your place tonight?” I cut to the chase.
“Sure, but what’s going on?”
I can’t blame him for asking. It’s not like we’ve been talking much, but this isn’t something to say over the phone. “I’ll explain when I get there. It’ll only be a few more minutes.” We end the call, but I’m debating what I’m going to say to Eric once I get there. If I tell him about what’s been going on with me and Cy, he’ll probably think it’s as inappropriate as Dad clearly does.
After all, it was my own immediate reaction the first time. We’re stepsiblings, and I get how taboo this is, but it’s not like we’re blood related. Hell, I was seventeen when Cy moved in, practically a grown up. We weren’t raised together. I didn’t make any attempt to get to know Cypress before I went off to college. When you get right down to it, our parents getting married never really made us siblings.We don’t have a bond like that. The feelings I have for Cy aren’t the brotherly kind.
Eric meets me at the door when I show up. He eyes the duffel bag slung over my shoulder before he looks at my face. His eyebrows lift in a question. “That’s a lot of stuff for one night.”
“I’ll figure out a better plan in the morning,” I say with a shrug. I push past Eric and into the living room of his tiny flat. “I just need somewhere to crash.”
“Theo, what’s going on? You can’t just show up with all your stuff packed and expect me not to ask questions. Do you need help?” he asks. “You’re kinda scaring me here.”
