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“For fuck’s sake.” He handed her the bottle. Unfortunately, it didn’t burn away his grief.
“This stuff would put hair on a baby’s chest.” She boosted herself up to sit on the railing. “Helikesit. He’s not going to have a stomach if he keeps drinking this. It’ll do for now since he doesn’t have anything better.” She took a swig and made a noise. “I’m sorry about this, and I won’t tell you that it gets easier.”
“Please don’t.”
“You did the right thing by sticking with him,” she said. “He’s…prickly, and he wouldn’t be my first choice.”
“He’s much more than that. Most of his hardness is only there to protect him.”
“People can be a lot different when they’re alone with someone they trust.”
It had taken a lot to get beyond the gate, and all of the lust Jari originally felt changed into so much more. The Prince behind his wall was far different from what most thought. Jari had never gotten so close to anyone only to have all of his hope obliterated. How was he supposed to find someone he loved later on? This wasn’t like the death of a parent or even a brother. It would always be in his memory and make him think twice before he got close to someone else.
Father had never shown interest in anyone again after Mother died. He’d been a cold son of a bitch, and Jari would neverforgive him for what he’d done to people, including the Prince. Still, there must have been some genuine feeling for his wife if he’d settled down and picked a respectable job. Since he’d never remarried, maybe she had been the one for him for whatever reason.
They hadn’t seemed passionately in love, and Mother hadn’t wanted Jari to be like his Father, but something had to have been there for her to stay with him. For her, he’d quit the gang, and she’d stayed despite his rough attitude and complaints about everything. She’d mentioned once that they’d been married for nearly a year before she realized she was pregnant and Jari was growing in her tummy. When he’d asked how he’d gotten in her belly, she’d said that was a conversation for another time.
Jari wasn’t going to turn into Father and start snatching innocent people to sell as slaves, but when he tried to imagine himself in another twenty years, he was alone. It was just him, a ring, a locket, memories, and wants that he’d never get.
When Este handed him the bottle again, he forced down a few more swigs. The burning in his gut still didn’t erase anything, and he gave it back.
“Do you want something to eat?” she asked.
“No.”
“Are you going to sit out here all night?”
“Yes.”
“All right. If you need anything, you know where I am. Or Tenth.”
“Thanks.”
If by some small chance burning the items worked, and Aurelius came back to the shore to return, Jari wanted him to see that he hadn’t been already written off as lost.
He fell asleep in the chair at some point late in the night. When he woke up before dawn, he almost expected to be in thecabin with Aurelius in the bed next to him. Instead, he was alone on the deck.
His body was stiff from the chair, his neck hurt, and when he remembered everything from yesterday, his chest ached too. The rising sun illuminated the shore which was empty except for the rowboat in the sand. A gull screeched overhead, and Jari stood to stretch and spit over the side.
Fuck. That whiskey hadn’t left a good taste in his mouth, and his gut rumbled, but he could barely fathom food. He searched the treeline for a sign of gold or movement that said the Prince was returning. Burning the items had worked. He’d figured out a way to rid himself of Mammon and could come back.
The gull screeched again as if to laugh at him.
If Aurelius wasn’t already dead, he would be within an hour or two at most. This wasn’t something he’d drag out just in case Mammon grew a little too aware. Jari’s throat tightened as he imagined the ship finally leaving while Aurelius’s body remained there, alone and not even buried.
The Prince didn’t want Jari to see him dead, but if he was gone, he wouldn’t have to know. Jari couldn’t bear the thought of his corpse rotting and not resting in Ymir’s Dirt. All bodies should be buried.
Fuck it. He’d go there and collect him. Aurelius couldn’t truly be mad at him for that. Jari would wrap him in a sheet, bring him on the ship, and when they reached land, he’d bury him. Given the option, Aurelius would likely prefer to be next to his Mother in the family tomb, and there wouldn’t be any fanfare or a big funeral. He’d probably prefer for the whole thing to be short without a lot of people. Este would vouch for Jari so Tomson wouldn’t think he’d done something to Aurelius when he brought the body back to Morning Glory.
Afterward, Jari would leave. The snake pit of a court could either thrive or eat itself under Tomson for all he cared.
***
He was in a rowboat barely an hour later with a pack that contained a sheet, a crystal lantern, and water. He had his sword, although he doubted he’d need that for anything. He’d forced in some food for energy and told Tenth and Este that he was going to fetch the Prince’s body.
He dreaded seeing Aurelius dead. His eye would probably be blue again, and Jari would have to permanently close it. It was better than leaving him to potentially be eaten by animals. He wasn’t sure if anything besides birds lived here, but it was possible.
When he pulled the boat onto shore alongside the other, a green chuckle chickie giggled at him as it hopped around the sand. Jari ignored it and followed the path of footsteps leading into the trees.
