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His lips curl into a smile. "Aren't you a little rebel? What kind of books?"
"The banned kind. Physical books."
"How did you get them?"
He knows they don't sell them on the island, and there is only one way to get them—from the mainland.
"I had someone bring them without my father finding out."
"Living dangerously," he teases.
I giggle. "You should try it. It helps pass the time. You can read about relationships, love, and children. You live one life, but you can live so many through the characters in books. The fun part is that you can choose which world, and if you don’t like it, you can find another one, and no one gets hurt." I slide my pinky finger on the side of his face where his temple is. "Right there. You bring them to life, and they can become part of you in your mind. It's a way of freedom when you feel trapped in the life you are currently in. The best part? No one can take that from you."
"What type of books?"
"Romance, suspense, erotica."
He arches a brow. "I like the last one."
I let out a laugh. "I'm sure, but I don't know how you would feel about three guys and one girl."
His face grows serious. "Make sure that stays in the book and not in your mind."
"Why? I figured you were into that stuff. Literally."
His expression goes dark, and his right eye shifts like something sinister possesses him. "Never with you."
"Oh." My lips turn into a frown.
And just like that, the moment is ruined when it comes to the topic of sex. I may be pretty, but I'm not his type sexually, and I have to accept that. His answer is clear.Never with you. He didn’t have a problem having sex with two girls at the same time.
He reaches over and touches the screen by his bed. Turning off the lights in the room, the neon lights on the floor flick on. I'm hoping he doesn't feel like he has to babysit me, so he has me here in his room.
"Cross?"
"What is it, Lillith?" he says in a tight voice.
A single tear slides down my cheek at his hard tone. "I just want you to know that I wasn't trying to kill myself. I-I wanted you to know that."
Silence.
But I felt it.
His judgment.
It's been three days, and I refuse to let her sleep in her room. Agnes said she was about to cut her face when she barged in on her. And it was because of me and the shitty things I said to her. The things I made her do.
How could someone so beautiful want to destroy what people would kill for? Agnes was right about her. I see the way the old woman looks at her when Lillith isn't looking. She likes her.
So does Ciro, and I acted like a jealous asshole when I saw through the outdoor camera the way she smiled at him. I lost it when he draped his jacket over her shoulders. I know Ciro wouldn’t try anything, but I also made it seem like I don't care about her in that way.
"It’s race night. Are you bringing her?"
I zip up my bag and drop it on the floor, unplugging the drives and scanning what I need. "Yeah, she can't stay here alone."
I refuse to tell him about the other night and her trying to cut herself. I check her fingers when she sleeps to make sure they heal like they should. I also watch her, memorizing every curve of her face and the shade of her full lips. I even smell her hair when it's spread out on the pillow.
She's perfect.
