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“You will go home with her,” Rosaline strokes my hair with her fingers and I try to nod.
I try to gather myself together but I’m tearing apart on the inside. I don’t know how to express half-baked emotions. When I’m in it, I’m in it. When I’m not I’m not. And right now, I’m neck deep in this pain and sadness and it feels as if someone is driving a screw into my heart in all corners.
I exhale and stand, then hold myself from pacing because once my legs move, I will be running inside the emergency ward and the last thing I want is for the doctors to be disrupted by my fixation and not give her the needed attention.
“What are they saying?” Orazio stands and places his hand on my back, and I mentally see that as a shackle to keep me grounded.
“Nothing yet,” I suck the cut on my lower lip for more blood.
“We are here,” Rosaline takes my palm in hers and kisses it.
“I know,” I exhale and try to hold the tears back in.
“Come now,” Orazio points to a seat by the wall that I didn't even notice was there.
We walk to the seat and sit, me in the middle and their arms coming around me. Orazio has his arm on my shoulder and Rosaline is hugging my waist from the side.
We stay silent for a while, comforting each other when a nurse walks out and stands in front of us.
My mind keeps her image somewhere in case she needs to deliver the horrible message of my mother’s death so I will never forget the face that brought the heart-wrenching news.
“She is awake now, and wants to see her baby, Benedetto,” the nurse says.
I jump to my feet, “I'm her baby.”
Rosaline and Orazio stand.
“She is awake?” I blink repeatedly, trying to make sure I'm not dreaming.
“Be careful, she had a concussion and doesn't need stress,” the nurse says.
“I am her son, and I didn't hit her,” I quickly try to wipe the suspicious look on her face off, “her husband did this.”
As expected, her shoulders slack and she points me toward the two-way door.
“Room four,” she hollers because I'm already taking long strides down the hallway.
“Mother,” I burst into the ward to see my mother smiling weakly at me with teary eyes. She is in a sky-blue clinic gown and has a bandage around her head.
“Oh thank God,” I close the distance and hug her, then sit on the side of her bed, still hugging her.
“My baby,” she sniffs me, “I'm alright.”
We untangle and I take her face in both my palms to look at her like she used to love to do to me.
“It's fine now,” I kiss her cheek, “we are fine.” I hug her again, then pull away to stare at her again. I am never taking my eyes off her because I feel if I look away she will be gone.
“You did it,” she smiles, “I didn't know that was what he had planned all along,” she sniffs back her tears.
“Mother, let's not talk about it, now,” I stroke her cheek with the back of my hand.
She shakes her head, “No, let's talk about it now. All I wanted was to protect you. When Claudio suggested we get married to protect you from the same world that took your father from us, I wasn't thinking, I just wanted you to be safe and alive. I didn't care about anything or anyone else except to keep you, my precious boy. Then I wasted four years being married to him just to protect you and give you a chance at a normal life, and all the while he was the one who killed your father,” her tears find release and they stream down her cheeks, but I stop them with my thumbs.
I can't remember a time when Maria Corte wasn't the perfect mother and even though she did what she did four years ago, I should have listened to anything she had to say to me, it would have probably made me realize Claudio’s motives sooner. Hearing he proposed the marriage to her feels different from what I had thought happened.
“All is fair in love and war,” I shrug. I hate that quote and I don't even know why I'm using it now but I hope it works to make her feel better. “Stop crying, I never want to see you cry, not for this reason, ever.”
“I'm proud of you, you've shown that you are a great leader and I underestimated you,” she smiles. “I was still looking at you likemy little boy and I didn't want to let you grow into this life, but you've shown me you can handle it better than I thought.”
