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“No.”
“So, what are you afraid of? Or are you trying to keep the lines of communication open in case of a reconciliation?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t want to get back together with him. I just don’t see the point of blocking him because nothing he can say is going to make a difference.”
Doctor Sheridan jots something down on her clipboard. “What do you feel is going to make a difference?”
“Me getting over him. And I don’t mean just saying I’m over him. I want to feel it too. I’m so ready to move past that phase of my life and pick up the pieces.”
“It’s going to take some time,” Doctor Sheridan tells me, with a calm smile. “You need to be patient with yourself. The two of you were married for three years, and you were together for a year before that, right?”
I nod and clasp my fingers together. “That’s right.”
Doctor Sheridan writes something else down. “Danielle, I want you to know that it’s okay to grieve the loss of your relationship with Trevor. Even if he was awful to you. Even if it ended badly. It doesn’t mean you can’t grieve what was lost.”
I glance away and stare at a spot over her head. “I know that.”
“You can tell me whatever you want here.”
I look back at her and uncross my ankles. “My ex isn’t the issue here, doc. I mean, I hate what he’s done to me, but I know it was wrong. And I know it’s okay to miss who I was before all of this bullshit.”
“So, what is the problem?”
“The problem is…. I’m attracted to someone, and I don’t want to be.”
Doctor Sheridan offers me a gentle smile. “Why don’t you want to be? Is he like Trevor?”
I shake my head. “They couldn’t be more different actually, but that scares me. Because I know this isn’t the right time.”
Doctor Sheridan sighs. “Sometimes, the timing of something doesn’t seem great, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue it. If you like this man, and he likes you, I see no harm in trying to make something with him.”
“You sound like Savannah.”
Doctor Sheridan jots something else down. “What does Savannah think?”
“To put it bluntly, Savannah thinks I need to get laid to get Trevor out of my system once and for all. And she also thinks it’s okay if I pursue something with this guy if it’ll make me happy.”
Doctor Sheridan’s eyes are bright and full of understanding. “I can see that you are seriously considering this. Is this man your friend?”
“No, actually he’s…. a guest at the resort,” I finish, lamely. “I’ve only known him a week or something. And I already can’t stop thinking about him.”
Doctor Sheridan motions for me to continue.
I shift from one side to the other and lick my dry lips. “I’m attracted to him. And he’s easy to talk to. But I don’t know, Doc. I don’t know if it’s enough.”
Doctor Sheridan sets her clipboard aside and leans forward. She clasps her fingers together and clears her throat. “Danielle, I want to ask you a question. Why are you here?”
“Because I signed up for therapy as part of the treatment—”
“I mean why are you at the resort?” She interrupts me with a kind smile. “Can you tell me your reasons?”
“I want to find myself again. I want to get back on track after being waylaid by Trevor.”
And I don’t want to go home to an empty apartment. To feel the loneliness closing in on me while I lament the fact that my career has moved on without me.
Already the thought of moving out of Savannah’s finding my own place and having to start over by myself doesn’t sit well with me.
Trevor made sure I was reliant on him, too reliant if I’m being honest.
