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When my tongue makes contact this time, she loses it. She screams as the orgasm ripples through her body. I shoot to my feet and quickly remove my clothing, eager to be inside her. My cell phone rings, but I ignore it. There is absolutely nothing that can stop this moment. When I slide inside, I take a moment to appreciate what I’ve been missing. She grips my arms tightly, holding on to me as she takes me inch by inch. Her moans fill the kitchen as I push deeper. “Your body was made for me, Kai. Can’t you feel it?”
“Yes. Jaxon, please…”
I know what she wants. I can tell. I continue to hit her G-spot, rubbing her clit at the same time until her body shakes underneath me. I groan as I’m brought to the edge with her. We stay in position for a minute or so before I grab a nearby paper towel and slide out of her. “Are you okay?”
She jumps off the counter and quickly pulls her dress down. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”
She regrets it. I can see it on her face. “Kai.”
“Yeah?”
I grab her hand and look her in the eyes. “This should have come before we did what we just did. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
She avoids facing me by turning around and turning the oven off. But not before I see her eyes fill with tears. “I loved you.”
“I know. And I loved you, too. So fucking much.”
And I still do.
She turns back around, this time letting the tears fall. “Then why did you leave?”
“My reason for leaving had nothing to do with you. I left because of shit I had going on in my life.”
“Whatever you had going on, we could have gotten through it…together.”
She’s wrong. We wouldn’t have gotten through it. Once she learned the truth, it would have crushed her. There would have been no coming back from it. “I was wrong to leave the way I did. I was immature.”
She wipes away her tears and straightens her spine. “Don’t mistake these tears for weakness. This doesn’t mean you’re forgiven. You know I cry when I’m angry.”
“I know.”
I grab my clothing and dress myself. I can’t assume that she’ll let me shower here. She pretends she isn’t watching as she covers the uneaten food. Once I’m dressed, I stand beside her at the stove. “I was so stupid.”
“Yeah, you were.”
I chuckle. “Can we start over? Will you let me make this right?”
I want to tell her everything. I need to tell her everything right this minute. But news like this isn’t something I should spring on her, especially now, while she’s already upset. Some might say that if I really want to do this right, I shouldn’t start out with a lie. But they’re wrong. My situation is complicated, to say the least, and I think it’s best if I tell her in my own time. It’s also because I’m being selfish. I feel like I just got her back, and I don’t want to ruin it yet.
“Start over?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. Despite what just happened between us, you don’t get to just waltz back into my life.”
“I know, and that’s not what I’m expecting. But can you, at least, let me earn my place in your life again?”
She bites the inside of her cheek, a sign that she’s in serious thought. “Let me think about it.”
KAI
Dinner was a bit weird last night. We didn’t discuss the sex or the breakup. We made small talk while we ate, he helped me with the dishes, then he gave me a forehead kiss before he left. A day later, I can still feel him. I can still smell him. I shut my eyes, remembering his touch. Inviting him over was the best way for us to talk. I couldn’t bring myself to sit in a public restaurant and cry my eyes out as he apologized for breaking my heart. I needed to be in my own space. I knew I was taking a risk by being alone with him, but I also thought that I was strong enough to resist him. Turns out, I was wrong. And now I hate myself for it. Kenzie’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “What?”
* * *
“Still feeling bad?”
* * *
