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“Doesn’t matter. Come on.”
We arrive at the beach hand-in-hand, with only the moonlight guiding the way. He finds an empty spot and tugs his T-shirt off, placing it down on the sand. I plop down on top of it, and he sits beside me. “This is beautiful.”
“Yeah, it is.”
We sit in silence, listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. I close my eyes and inhale the cool sea breeze. Jaxon breaks the silence. “You were wrong, you know?”
“Wrong about what?”
“When you said I cared nothing about you, you were wrong.”
My chest tightens as memories of that day resurface. I shake my head, attempting to shake them away. “None of that matters right now. It’s not like we’re getting back together or anything, right?” My belly sinks as I say the words. Tears try to force themselves down my cheeks, but I don’t let them. It’s dark, but I can see him staring at me underneath the moonlight. I can’t make out his expression, but his silence tells me all I need to know. He’s not happy about my statement. But this isn’t about his happiness. It’s about my happiness. And the only way I can make sure he doesn’t hurt me again is to keep this as casual as possible. Just like the others. Only…I wasn’t in love with the others. It was easy for me to hook up with those guys. To spend a night with them that didn’t mean a thing. But Jaxon is different. And I worry that this could blow up in my face.
He interrupts my thoughts. “Kai, I need to tell you something.”
I shake my head again. “Don’t. Whatever it is, like I said, it won’t matter.”
Like I said, I’m keeping this casual. People who have a casual relationship don’t tell their life story. They don’t share secrets or have extensive pillow talk. I know Jaxon well. Very well. But I don’t care to know what he’s been up to since we split. I don’t want to keep talking about the day I walked out on him. And I certainly don’t want him to feel like he has to make anything up to me. All of the above will complicate things. All that matters is the present. This moment, right now. He nods without responding, and I change the subject. “What should we do tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. Roller coaster?”
“Oh no. No roller coaster for me.”
He laughs out loud. “Ferris wheel?”
“Now, that I can do.”
I can tell he’s smiling, which makes me smile. I won’t deny it. It feels good to have Jaxon in my life again. Even if it’s nothing more than spending time together and having sex. I no longer need labels to define my relationships. Hell, I no longer need relationships at all. I’m content with the way I do things now. Less stress, less mess. I have control of my life. Control of my sexuality. And it feels good. Jaxon throws an arm around my shoulders. “It’s getting cooler. Want to head back?”
I shake my head as I stare out at the dark ocean. “Not just yet. Let’s sit for a little while longer.”
The sun peeks through the curtains, and the birds chirp loudly as I roll over in bed. Jaxon’s side is empty, but I can hear the shower running. I yawn as I stretch and look over at the clock. It’s nine am. The water shuts off, and the bathroom door opens. Jaxon emerges wearing nothing but a towel. He smiles widely. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good. You?”
“Good. Except for the times my dick got hard.”
I throw a pillow at him. “Jesus, Jaxon.”
He dodges it. “I’m serious. Every time you brushed against me, I got hard. But I knew you were tired and didn’t want to bother you.”
I raise myself up on my elbow. “How generous of you.”
He stops what he’s doing and looks me dead in the eyes. “You know me well enough to know I’m not that generous. But you looked exhausted.”
“I was. Thanks for letting me sleep.” My phone vibrates on the dresser. “Could you hand me my phone, please?”
He grabs the phone, but not before looking at the caller. “Owen,” he says before handing it to me.
I grab my phone and hit decline. “I can call him later.”
I climb out of bed and slide my feet into my slippers. Jaxon leans against the desk. “Boyfriend?”
I fold my arms. “If I had a boyfriend, would I be here with you?”
He thinks about it for a second before responding. “Friend with benefits, then?”
He’s jealous. I can tell by the tone of his voice. The way his chest rises and falls. “Just a friend.”
