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“I’m not in danger,” I say, “I promise. I just have to tell you some things that will be hard to hear, and I need you to promise not to protest until I’ve said what I need to say.”
There’s a long pause before she resignedly and somewhat fearfully replies. “All right.”
I tell her everything then. I tell her about Russel, about the night four years ago when he took my virginity. I tell her about running into him again and realizing that I love him and that I can’t stand the thought of a future without him. I tell him about my desire to live a simple life in the forest, and that I’ve begun the process of selling my material possessions and carving a place for myself in the wilderness. I tell her that I’m keeping my assets and that I have an exit strategy—more for her sake than for mine. I finish by telling her that I will always be her daughter, and that I will still keep in contact with her and she is always welcome to call me, but this is my choice, and I’m keeping to it.
When I finish, she is silent for a moment. Then she surprises the hell out of me by saying, “Oh, Melody. I am so happy for you.”
When I get over my shock at her response, I break into a huge grin.
“Thanks, Mom. I’m happy too.”
Russel
The bears are gathered around me. There are thirty-eight in all. These are not all the bears who follow me, but they are all the bears who will be displaced by the development plans for this acreage. They wait patiently for my instructions. It occurs to me that this is the most leadership a bear alpha has ever had to display. In many ways, the fact that they all show up ready to listen is a miracle.
I take a breath and shift to human form. The other bears don’t follow suit. They don’t need to. I only shift because it’s easier for me to say what I need to say in human form than in bear form.
“Friends, I will be leading you to a new home up north. I’ve contacted the Wolf Alpha of the Yukon and informed him I need thirty thousand acres of forest free of human encroachment. Duncan has been kind enough to offer me acreage in the more temperate Southern region of the Yukon. He assures me that the likelihood of human encroachment within the next hundred years is minimal, although he does warn that there is a sizable population of brown bears in the area. They don’t pose a threat to adults or older adolescents, but until we have the lay of the land, you’ll want to keep a close eye on the children.
“This place is not our forest. The trees are similar, but they are different. The water there is colder, as is the air. The fish are larger and stronger, but they are flavorful and healthy. The deer are warier, but they are more plentiful. The berries are smaller and more tart, but like the salmon, they are healthy. We will have enough for ourselves and our cubs for a long time.”
I pause a little before continuing. “I am not happy to leave. I would stay here for the rest of my life if I could. Like all bears, I have no need for change. I was born here, and it was my intent to die here. I never expected that our home would one day be taken from us.”
There are some growls of anger among the bears, and I lift a hand for silence. “Please don’t blame the humans for this. They are only animals like we are. They are acting as nature compels them to act. We don’t blame the birds for killing the insects. We don’t blame snakes for killing mice. We don’t feel guilt for killing fish. We don’t feel guilt for chasing foxes from our dens. We act as nature compels us and so do they. They have only lost their understanding that it is nature and not their own will that compels them.”
There are some more grumblings, but the anger no longer contains the undercurrent of hate it contained earlier. They understand that what I’m saying is true.
“Some of you have lives in the human world here. If any need more time to sever those connections, I will leave you directions to follow when you can join us. If any choose to remain, you are always welcome to find us again, whether to live or to visit.”
I pause again, then say the oath that my father taught me. “We are bears. The forest is our home.”
The gathered bears growl in reply.
“The leaves are our roof.”
They growl assent.
“The river is our song.”
They repeat the phrase with their low rumblings.
“The earth is our bed.”
They repeat the sentiment, then as one, me in English, the others in the throaty growls of our ancestors, finish with, “We are bears. We are bears. We are bears.”
Softly, I conclude. “We are bears.”
I shift and take one final look around at the only home I’ve ever known. I will return to say goodbye once more when I relinquish my position to Jacob and join Melody in the life that will represent my future, but this feels like the last time I will truly belong here.
I inhale deeply of the scent of the forest one last time. Then I turn and begin to walk.
“Wait!” Melody cries.
I stop, confused. Has she returned already? I texted her this morning that I needed to lead the others away, but I would be back. Has she come to see them off?
I turn to see her rushing towards me. “You don’t have to leave!” she says.
I frown and ask what she means.
