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“You ruined me too, then.”
With a last kiss, we moan each other’s names as we come.
My feelings for my wife are way more intense than I thought possible. Love is weak compared to what I feel for her. After the frustration, the anger, and the fact she threw a glass of water at me out of sheer jealousy, I knew I was fucked up.
She lies in my arms, drawing patterns on my chest. I don’t even care. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, even though she drives me crazy. I plant a kiss on top of her head, and she snuggles closer to me. This must be what happiness feels like. I am going to hold on to this with her with whatever it takes.
“We have meetings we need to attend together starting next week.”
“Okay.”
“And I thought that when things calm down, we can go away again for a few weeks, for a proper honeymoon.”
She lifts her chin, and those eyes I want only on me flicker in excitement.
“I would love that.” Violet sneezes, a chill rocking her, and I wrap my arms around her. I hate that I allowed her stubbornness to prevail. What if she catches a cold?
She uses her fingers to smooth the line between my eyebrows. “I know it’s not the same, but when you make love to me, it feels like I’m the only woman for you.”
She tips her head, a blush tainting her cheeks. I guess we feel the same. “You’re the only one for me, regardless of how I take you.”
She sighs, and I fucking regret telling her about Jenny. I was sixteen when she came into my life, and eighteen when it all ended in tragedy.
“I have never wanted anyone like you.”
“Still . . .”
I like a particular submission in bed, but I like real-life challenges. Violet is the woman not even my fantasies could have conjured.
“She was the girl I couldn’t save—an innocent who didn’t deserve everything that happened to her. You’re the woman I’d rip this world apart for. Don’t ever be jealous. There’s no reason to be.” I hope Violet believes me because that is my truth.
“Then, it’s time to unshackle yourself from the guilt. It was not your fault. If I’ve learned anything in my time with you, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for the people you feel responsible for.” Her trust in me humbles me.
I kiss her and say, “You want another lovemaking session because it’s working.”
She slaps at me playfully, and her eyes darken. “No, I want you to own me.”
My hands shake as I cup her face. “I stand no fucking chance with you.”
***
When we land in Boston, Violet is full of giggles. She looks flushed. That’s what happens when I can’t keep my hands off her, and she gives herself to me.
In the back seat, her cheek rests on my lap. As I stroke her back, she falls asleep. When we reach the mansion, the driver parks, and she stirs awake. Rounding the car, I scoop her into my arms.
“I want to see Luna,” she says.
Anything she wants, I’ll give her.
I set her down, and we spot Marie feeding the deer. When she sees Violet, Luna’s legs wobble in excitement. Violet’s hand flies to her mouth as she rushes to the deer. She will be a great mother someday. I can’t believe I’m picturing my wife pregnant and surrounded by my kids.
“Three,” I say, emotions choking me. Marie leaves, and the relief in her eyes is unmistakable. Violet turns to me, and her eyebrows drawn together in confusion as she pats Luna.
“I want three kids.”
Sadness looks back at me. “I don’t know if I can have children, Cameron. I’m sorry. But with all that chemo and radiation I underwent... I don’t know...”
Eyes welling up, her shoulders drop. Her desolate posture twists my insides. I can live without children, but I could not live without her.
