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He couldn’t bring himself to define the emotions swirling through him but refused to let this night pull them apart. As he drove through the quiet streets of Chatelaine, his mind searched for ideas of how to make sure he kept his family together—forever.
Esme’s neck and heart ached in equal measure the following morning after a night spent in an uncomfortable chair, although Chase was thankfully being discharged. After a course of IV antibiotics and fluids, the baby improved rapidly through the night.
He’d already had his first feeding that morning and offered a gummy smile to every nurse who came in to check his vitals. Ryder had also reported that Noah was completely healthy. Esme counted on him staying that way—her heart couldn’t take the stress of another night like the one she’d just endured.
What made it worse was knowing that from now on, she’d have to deal with these sorts of issues on her own. Not completely, of course. She knew Ryder would be there for whatever she or their sons needed, but Esme couldn’t keep pretending.
She’d fallen for him, even though she’d promised herself she was done with love after Seth. Knowing that one of their babies had gotten sick on a night when Esme and Ryder had left the boys with a sitter felt like a sign. She could not be distracted or allow her focus on being a good mother to be derailed.
Ryder clearly cared for her, but she was too afraid of being truly hurt to let him in.
If Esme were going to take another chance on opening her heart, it would be to someone willing to risk that fall in return. Maybe once she told Ryder how she felt, he would open up, but she wasn’t counting on it.
“Who am I kidding?” she asked Chase as she lifted him into her arms. She couldn’t help hoping and praying that Ryder would love her in return. Esme had spent most of her life immersing herself in fairy tales and love stories. Was it so wrong to want one of her own? Sadly, yes if the fairy tale turned into a nightmare, as it had in her family growing up and with Seth.
The baby didn’t appear to have an answer for her but snuggled more closely into the crook of her neck. She wanted both her sons to grow up in a happy home. There were too many memories of her parents fighting and their petty little wars of words, plus the affairs and backstabbing that had been so prevalent throughout her childhood.
Ryder had been nothing but kind, but she still didn’t know how to trust herself enough to trust him. It was safe enough to raise kids together, but she knew how being raised in a house filled with tension and animosity could impact a child.
Asa and Bea had done their best to protect Esme from the worst of it, and before becoming a mother, she would have claimed not to have been affected by the rancor that had filled her childhood home. But now, she wasn’t only making choices for herself. Her decisions would have consequences for her children, and they deserved to see their parents content. She could be happy with Ryder if only she could trust him enough to give them a chance.
As the door to Chase’s room opened, she expected to see Ryder enter. Instead, Freya walked in. Her great-aunt carried a giant stuffed bear with a blue bow tie around his neck.
Esme smiled and gestured her forward. “Good morning. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Color stained Freya’s cheeks. “I didn’t expect to be here,” the older woman admitted. “But I wanted to check on the baby and also see how you’re doing after sleeping in a hospital room chair.”
Esme wrapped her arms around the older woman. “I’m so glad you stopped by.”
Freya was stiff for a few moments and then seemed to relax into the hug. It was clear that Elias’s widow cared about Esme, her siblings and her cousins. Esme wanted to believe that as time passed, she’d continue to feel more comfortable about her role in each of their lives.
“My neck has seen better days.” She rubbed the back of it with her free hand. “Would you like to hold him for a few minutes?”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s happy in his mother’s arms,” Freya said.
“He’ll be just as happy in yours,” Esme promised. She took the bear from the older woman and placed it in the bassinet, then gave Chase to Freya.
Freya’s expression gentled as she glanced down at the baby. “It’s still difficult to believe that the mix-up happened and nobody caught it.” Her gaze sharpened on Esme. “Have you and Ryder discovered anything more?”
She shook her head. “No, but I’m not sure he’s ready to give up the search. I wish I didn’t feel like I should have been the one to realize it. How could I not recognize my own baby even with all the trauma and chaos surrounding that night?”
Freya traced a finger over the cleft in Chase’s chin—the one he’d inherited from his father. “Love makes us see what we want to, even if it’s not always the full breadth of the matter.”
“That’s true, and I trusted the staff at the hospital to get things right.”
“Of course, you did,” Freya agreed.
“Once again, I can’t thank you enough. If you hadn’t gifted me that DNA test, I’m not sure when or if we would have realized the switch happened. It’s like I needed you to discover the truth. You truly are a gift in our lives, Freya.”
Her great-aunt looked uncomfortable at the compliment. “I don’t think you should give me all that much credit. I barely did a thing.”
“But what you did changed my whole life,” Esme assured her.
The woman’s eyes widened in shock, but before she could answer, the door opened again.
“Hi.” Ruby Ashwood, the young nursing assistant, popped her head into the room. “I heard one of your babies spent the night here.”
Esme moved to stand behind the giant teddy bear propped up in the bassinet, feeling like she needed a shield between herself and the woman who’d so blatantly flirted with Ryder during their meeting.
