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“Yeah,” he breathes.
“Kai!” Austin calls from behind. “We gotta go, man.” My eyes burn an equal fire as we stare at each other. “Good. I want you hard, and hot, and waiting for me. Because you’re mine. Mine to please.” It’s not what I want to say. But it’s safer, easier. With all the rest, yeah, I haven’t quite worked that out yet.
“Are you—” He flushes, then bites his lower lip. Loosening my grip on his throat, I use one hand to brush over his cheeks.
“Yeah. Rock hard. You’ve got me all worked up, baby mouse.” Grabbing his hand, I lead it down to my throbbing cock, and use his fingers to squeeze it. Wrong decision, because a zip of desire runs through me. Tough luck, buddy, because I need to control it right now. He needs to get to work, and we need to get outta here. “I’ll be watching you.”
He gives me the smallest of smiles at that and a hesitant, “Okay.”
I watch him leave, when Austin moves to stand next to me. “Old bastard escaped like a slithering snake,” Austin mutters. “But damn, bro, watching you and your guy together was worth the entertainment though.” He lets out another chuckle, that makes me groan. “Kai with a dude, who would have thought.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Too pent-up to fight his mocking, I just sigh. “Right now, I’m so—just, take me to the gym.”
“Thegym? No fucking way, dude. This is the time most people actually sleep. Come on.” He slaps me on the shoulder. “Let me get you home. Tomorrow we’ll throw in another round of punches, release some more tension.”
“He just—”
“I know. And we’ll figure it out, couz. We’ll figure it out.”
ChapterFifteen
PHOENIX
Kai doesn’t come back.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but that night, or the nights after, I find myself frequently glancing through the window, imagining that I catch a glance of cockiness and passion. Of a dark quiff and a leather jacket. Of a wicked mouth and a brooding stare. But he never comes.
The outside view doesn’t change. Same shabby apartment blocks and noise. Run-down shops and busy streets with people hanging about. No, everything’s the same, yet something’s different..
I can feel it when I’m walking down the streets. Change shadows me, creates a bubble, brings shelter. It’s enough for me to feel that little bit safer, andthatis enough for me to go out and get to work, buy groceries again. Mom’s been in a permanent foul mood ever since I got jumped—the version I gave her after I lost my groceries—although she must have had a few spare cans, since she hasn’t stopped drinking.
It has been three days since Kai saved me from All Saints in the middle of the night. But he hasn’t left my dreams. And in my dreams, I’m still in his fancy neighborhood, drinking whiskey. I can still feel his lips on mine, his hands pressing me close. Can still feel his throbbing cock inside my ass. My body’s craving him, like a flower desperate for the sun.
Taking the elevator to our fifth floor, I walk the narrow corridor with its familiar noises—clattering pans, music, nagging children, fighting parents. I juggle with the grocery bag and the key at the same time, before kicking the door shut with my heel. My sweaty skin embraces the cool breeze inside the condo. It’s a beautiful day out there, but I can’t let my guard down. Literally.
“Mom?” I stop to listen. She’s talking, not her usual private mumbles, but actually talking. For a second, I actually think that she’s talking to me, but then someone replies. It’s a low, raspy tone. It’s… I start walking without realizing, my feet picking up and practically flying over the run-down carpet as they make their way into the kitchen. “Dad?” The place looks the same as usual, of course. Cans. Cigarettes. Those damn television shows. But there’s a man sitting at the round table across from Mom, facing me when I walk inside. It’s not Dad. “Oh my God.” Instant fear roars through me like a hurricane. “I know you.” I turn to Mom. “Why did you let him in?” I cry. “We need to go. Now!”
“Phoenix, please.” She tries to get out of her chair and I hesitate, torn between bolting out the apartment, or helping her out. She grabs my shoulder, making the choice for me. “I need you to listen to me.” It comes out on a slur.
“Mom, you need to—” Just like with my sister’s birthday, she’s completely wasted.
“This is Nate.”
“I know him.” I watch the man, his gray eyes bringing a familiar feeling. Again. Because we saw each other a few days ago when he came out of the blue, early in the morning when I was heading for work, very much like Kai did.
Kai…my fingers fly up to my lonely lips, though my stare’s cautious and focused on the intruder.
“You’re All Saints, right?” He nods. “So you know, how Damon found me in the port. That he and his goons tortured me. That they got me on that boat, and when that didn’t work out, how they sent me to the park.” I press my lips firmly together, chest heaving. “And now you’re here.” All those weeks of hiding, of trying to be less visible than a shadow, and for what?
They’ve found me. This place isnothome. It will never be anymore.
“Phoenix,” Mom interrupts my tantrum. She sighs, swallows visibly, then shakes her head. I think it’s because she’s already forgotten what she wanted to say in the first place, but then her eyes turn a little moist and words come out. “It was never meant to be like this.” Her voice is thick with regret, because she starts sobbing, her meager limbs quivering as she cries. “Nate and I are very good friends. He was also a friend of your father.”
“Was?” I spin my head to face her, anger building up through my tensing muscles. “You’re speaking of him like he’s dead. He’s not dead, Mom! Dad’s not dead.”
“No, you’re right, he’s not.” Her puffy face distorts into a grimace. “But he’s not… that letter—” She eyes Nate. “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry, baby.”
“Baby?” My gaze darts between them. “What’s going on, Mom? What’s he doing here?” Alarm rises in my chest, close to where my heart’s thudding heavily. There’s something different about her, but I don’t know what it is. She’s dressed in her usual floral, button-up dress, the one she started wearing when she stopped going out, but on her eyes she wears make-up. It doesn’t stop them from looking glossy from the drink. She lights the cigarette that’s pressed between her lips, then inhales deeply.
