Page 51 of Pity Party


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“I figured we should get date two on the books.” He hurries to add, “That is, if you’re still up for it.”

“Absolutely,” I say with genuine eagerness. I need something to take my mind off what happened between me and Jamie this morning. The only plan of attack I can think of is to kiss somebody else and replace the imprint of Jamie’s lips. Not that it’s a foregone conclusion I’m going to kiss Tim on our second date, but if there’s any opportunity, I’m sure as heck going to try.

“How about if we meet up at the country club? We can have lunch there and I can show you around.”

Lunch does not inspire thoughts of romance, but it’s probably better that I get to know Tim before we get physical. And as nice as our first date was, I still don’t really know him. “That sounds perfect. What day?”

“How’s tomorrow?” he asks.

I didn’t think it could get less sexy than lunch, but somehow Monday lunch really lowers the bar. “What time should I meet you?” I ask.

“How’s eleven?”

“I’m looking forward to it,” I tell him while trying to decide what to wear. My new dresses are way too over the top for daytime wear.

After hanging up with Tim, I call my mom. She lets the phone ring a spectacular twenty times before answering. I’ve told her on multiple occasions to send her incoming calls to voicemail after five rings, but as she doesn’t like voicemail, she’s opted to pretend she has a landline—before answering machines were invented.

“Hello?” She sounds like she’s run a mile. That’s another thing—when she’s home, she plugs her phone into the charger in her closet and leaves it there.

“Hey, Mom,” I start to say while wondering how best to continue. “I can open the store tomorrow, but I need to leave early.” I don’t want to tell her why I need to leave work so early tomorrow, but I‘m sure she’ll demand to know.

“How early?” She sounds alarmed. “You know that Howard and I have a standing Monday night dinner date.”

“Yes, well, I have a date, too.” Let the chips fall where they may.

“That’s wonderful! Who is he? How did you meet? Where are you going? What are you going to wear?”

She’ll keep going if I don’t stop her. “His name is Tim, and we went to high school together. He’s recently moved back to Elk Lake.”

“Tim Hodges?” she wants to know.

“No.”

“Tim Greenfield? Tim Mateo?”

“No.”

“Well, if it isn’t Tim Hodges, Tim Greenfield, or Tim Mateo, who is it?”

I inhale slowly, trying to buy myself some time before unleashing the beast that is Margie. “Tim Ferris.”

“Tim Ferris,Tim Ferris? You mean Jim’s son? The owner of the country club?!”

She’s so worked up I’m concerned she’s going to have a stroke. “Yes, Mom. But it’s just a second date. It’s no big thing.”

“No big thing? Second date? When was your first? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it. You know, like you’re currently doing?” I snag a shrimp with my chopsticks and pop it into my mouth.

“Melissa Ann Corner, don’t you dare accuse me of being over the top. Tim Ferris is an absolute catch! Howard and I see him all the time at the club. Did you know he’s taking over for his dad? He’s very handsome too.”

“He’s also divorced.” I don’t know why I feel the need to say that. It’s not like divorce is a deal breaker, plus Tim’s wife is the one who left him, but I want my mom to take it down a notch.

She acts like she doesn’t even hear me. “We could all eat at the club together some night. Wouldn’t that be fun? Howard will be so excited when I tell him.”

I would rather bungee jump out of a jet airplane than double date with my mom and Howard. “Let’s wait and see if it goes somewhere first,” I tell her.

“Well, there’s always Sammy’s dad if it doesn’t. Not only is he handsome, he’s single,andI could get a granddaughter out of the deal.”

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