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My cousin laughed and gave me a quick knuckle punch, and I made my way out of the kitchen and down the hall to the front door. I always liked being able to joke around with my cousin. We’d been best friends since we were kids. But since he'd started dating Amelia and I'd started crushing on her sister, I’d noticed things had changed a little bit.
I didn’t know if it was on me or if James was hiding something from me about Emily. Or if I were just a hopeless romantic stuck in a player’s body. I shut the door behind me andgot into my car. The antique store was only a few minutes away, but I didn’t have to be there for an hour.
Instead of taking a right toward town, I took a left and drove toward the beach where my family would spend time whenever we visited my grandparents’ orchard. There was the tiniest sliver of sand at this reserve, but the shoreline was mostly pebbled and rocky. I found a place to park in a small lot above the ocean and made my way down to the beach.
I’d taken Emily here a few times. Each time grew more special than the last, and I could never put my finger on why.
But that was how it was with Emily. Each encounter grew into something more to be treasured, which was why I didn’t want to lose having her in my life.
The waves lapped gently against the stones as I stared out toward the inky-blue water. I found a boulder to sit on and let out a deep breath as thoughts of Emily wound their way back into my mind.
Sometimes, it felt like Emily and I were an old married couple. She’d throw jabs at me that I pretended didn’t sting, and I’d tease her about something trivial in return. Other times, it felt like she saw right through me and understood my vulnerabilities but never threatened to exploit them, just like a true friend.
Maybe that was why we’d become such fast friends.
Perhaps that was all we were meant to be.
But lately, she’d started writing poetry, and I swear that every time she shared a poem with me, it sounded like us.
Some version of us.
Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.
I moved my fingers through my hair, wishing away the monotony of being single, and leaned back against the rock. The coldness of the boulder soaked through my shirt as I thought about what I really wanted.
Was James right?
Was I only interested in Emily because she’d turned me down a million times?
But I’d never seriously asked her out, either. It was only in passing or in jest because I knew where she’d planted me.
In the vast platonic wasteland.
I remember my grandpa always used to tease me that I’d be a fifty-year-old bachelor, and when I was sixteen, that didn’t sound all that bad, but now that I was thirty-five, it sent a cold chill through me. The thought of being alone in fifteen years was depressing. It didn’t help that James found his forever and had somehow put me in the category of the perennial bachelor.
I was like the fun uncle, the great babysitter, and the sidekick.
Emily saw me as all that, too. We’d even babysat Henry together, but none of that seemed to show her that I could actually be…
Well, I didn’t know what she wanted me to be other than a friend.
My hope had been with getting these tickets today that she’d see me as a guy who cared for her, listened to her, and would go above and beyond for her.
The unfortunate part of the whole thing was definitely how I obtained the tickets, and if Emily and I were dating, it could be seen as a prickly topic.
But we weren’t together.
So, it shouldn’t matter.
I stared at the waves coming to the shore and propped myself off the rock.
Things didn’t always have to be complicated and messy, and my friendship with Emily was definitely neither of those things. It was solid, stable, and nearly perfect.
Except that there wasn’t a moment that went by where I didn’t want to pull her into my arms and feel her lips against mine.
I smiled to myself and moved off the rock, making my way to my car. Things didn’t have to be difficult between Emily and me, and I wasn’t going to start now. She was a phenomenal best friend, and that was plenty for now.
It would have to be.
