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“Love you,” Angela chimed in.
We all hugged, then I returned to my seat to finish the little that was left of my latte and go over a few more financial things on my phone. There was a reason why I hadn’t looked at everything in front of my sisters. I already had a bad feeling about what would be staring back at me, and it wasn’t a surprise when I realized I was right.
I had hoped that cutting my paycheck by twenty percent would leave enough for me to live on until next payday, but no matter how I rearranged the bills and when I could pay them, there was no way I would be able to make ends meet.
The only solution would be to drop the business classes I’d been taking so I could work more hours, or I wouldn’t have enough money for rent.
I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I threw back the rest of my coffee. I was upset, but I was also frustrated. I hated working my fingers to the bone and not having anything to show for it. And it felt even worse knowing I was going to have to give up taking the classes that were teaching me how to better the business.
“Thanks, come again!” the barista called out as I headed out the door, and I gave her a small wave.
God knew I wasn’t going to be back until the next payday. The coffees there were nearly five dollars for the cheapest drinks, and even that was depressing me. I felt like I was on the brink of a total meltdown, and unless something changed for the better, I’d snap.
I hated that I internalized all of the business financial problems without anyone to talk to, and I hated that I didn’t have a solution for that, either.
I was spinning my tires but getting nowhere.
And I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it up.
Chapter Four
Alex
“And drop. Good. Now you spot me,” David said.
We switched places on the weight bench. David was my best friend and often my workout buddy, which I was grateful for. It was nice having a good friend of mine who was able to talk to me as we worked out, in my mind, killing two birds with one stone.
I stood nearby as he got into position, then I helped him with the weight. He knew what he was doing, and I knew what to watch for, so I turned back to the conversation we’d been having.
“It’s just that I don’t feel like it’s good for Lucy to be spending too much time with her mother,” I said at last. “I know that’s putting a fine point on it, and I know it’s not the nicest thing in the world to say, but when someone is all about the moneylike Jordan is, I don’t know if I can trust her to even keep an adequate eye on Lucy when she’s in Jordan’s care.”
“And that’s a valid concern,” David said through presses. “Your job is to take care of Lucy. Fuck what her mother thinks.”
“I know, but then I start to feel guilty. I feel like the bad parent who won the battle so I’m not letting her mother have access to her. While I know in my head that’s not true, it’s what Jordan likes to spin, and there are times that’s the narrative that sticks.”
“I guess the best advice I can give you on that one is to not let it stick,” David told me. “I know Jordan has tried to come at you to make you feel guilty for literally everything since before the divorce, but she can’t make you feel or think anything that you don’t want to. That’s up to you to decide what you want to believe is true.”
“I know,” I said. “But when it comes to Lucy, all I want is for her to have the best. I don’t want to leave her in the care of someone who’s like her mother. It would be one thing if I could trust Jordan to care for Lucy even if the two of us don’t see eye to eye on things, but that’s not the case. I don’t trust Jordan to do anything but be narcissistic and toxic.”
“Then, if I were you,” David said after doing another round of presses. “I would go with a different option. Which, as you already said, a nanny would be a good one.”
“But then I have the issue of knowing where to find a good nanny,” I sighed. “And that’s fifteen. Good.”
He put the weight back in place and sat on the side of the bench. “I’ll talk to my brother. I know he was using a nanny service a while back that he really liked. It was a family thing. Three sisters and their grandmother were the only employees.”
I paused, thinking about what he’d said. That did sound like a nice setup. I liked the grandmotherly touch, and the fact they were sisters meant they must have the same passion for the business. And for kids.
“He was happy with them?” I asked. “What did he have to say about the service? I know I’m hiring someone, and they’re going to see this as a job and everything, but I don’t want Lucy to just be the kid on the docket for the day, you know?”
“That’s not the case,” David said with a shake of his head. “I know they were really happy with the way the nanny was all about the kids and treated them like their own. I just remember him telling me that if I was ever going to need a nanny to let him know and he’d give me the name and number.”
“Well, I am in need of a good one,” I said. “And I do trust your brother. I mean, I’m not afraid to do some heavy vetting myself to make sure it’s a good fit. But at least if your brother recommends these people, I can go in with that personal sentiment.”
“I’ll give him a call as soon as we leave and text you the info,” David said. “It could very well be the solution you’re looking for.”
“Do you know what kind of hours they offer?” I asked. “You know, with my job, it can be a little hit and miss of when I’m going to need someone.”
“I don’t know if they have on-call or if it’s always going to be scheduled,” David admitted. “When my brother used them, I know he was using them for a few days during the week, and it was morning a couple times and afternoon one time. I don’t know if they are rigid about that or what. But you could talk about it when you meet with them.”
