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The silence stretches between us once more, and though I can see the impatience on her face, I soak up the stolen moments in her presence. Even her look of hatred is better than the chasm of space that’s been between us for over a week now.
“Well?” she demands after several long seconds. She shifts her weight again and glances around at the students that glance sidelong at us on their way.
“I didn’t kill your brother, Dani,” I blurt, cutting to the chase before she can stop me again. And though I see the fire ignite in her gaze, I plow ahead with my explanation. “And Pyotr did not order it. He wouldn’t do that—not when Ben means so much to you. And I would never, never keep something like that from you.”
Tears brim in Dani’s eyes, and her chin wobbles, but this time, she doesn’t cut me off. She does as she promised and stands her ground as I let it all out.
“I know how much you love your brother, and I would never willingly allow you to suffer like you have. What I said to you that night—that I couldn’t tell you everything about the Veles—that had nothing to do with Ben. I swear on my life. It… I… witnessed something unspeakable, something that still haunts me… and I hoped to save you from that kind of brutality.”
“Yeah, well, a lot of good that did,” Dani murmurs, the hurt in her voice fracturing through my chest.
“I’m so, so sorry, Dani,” I breathe, unable to stop myself as I close the distance between us. I pull her into my arms, her petite frame so fragile as she stiffens against me. “What you’re going through, I would not wish on my worst enemy. I love you and only want to be here for you because I can’t imagine how painful it must be to go through it alone.”
The devastation that flashes across her face tells me my words hit home. She’s been suffering. Deeply. She is trying to stay strong for her parents, who are likely as broken and inconsolable as Dani. And she’s had no one to hold her together all this time.
“Please, Dani, don’t blame me for Ben’s death. I would do anything to turn back time, to stop it, if I could. But I cannot. So let me mourn with you. Let me be here for you,” I plead, cradling her cheek with my palm.
And as Dani looks up at me, her expression so utterly lost and vulnerable, I can’t resist. Leaning in, I capture her lips, pouring into the kiss all the love and compassion I have for her. All the yearning that I could ease her pain somehow. All the ferocity with which I’ve wanted to hold her for so many days.
Warmth floods my chest as Dani melts into me. The tension washes from her body as her palms rest lightly against my chest, her fingers splayed as if to feel my beating heart. Her soft lips mold to mine, and a soft, agonized moan escapes them as they part at my request.
Combing my fingers into Dani’s hair with one hand, I support the small of her back with my other. I don’t care that we’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I don’t even notice if we’re catching glances as Dani’s fellow students walk by.
It feels so good to hold her again. To feel just how warm and alive she is.
My tongue strokes between her lips, tasting her honey flavor, and Dani shudders.
Then, as if waking from a dream to find herself in a horrible reality, she stiffens in my arms. Dani shoves against my chest with considerable force—enough that, though it wouldn’t actually force me to release her, I know I have to let her go.
I’m sorely tempted to refuse, but I won’t make Dani be with me, even if it’s the only thing I want in this world. With agonizing self-discipline, I let her push me away, breaking the intoxicating kiss that, for a moment, made me believe I might have gotten through to her.
“No, Efrem!” she sobs, her face twisting with a look of utter betrayal. “You’re lying!” Her face colors as she backs away from me, her eyes brilliant with anger. “No one else had reason to want Ben dead. You’ll say anything, won’t you? To get your way.”
“That’s not true, Dani,” I insist, my blood turning cold as I watch her slip through my fingers once more. And though I know I shouldn’t, I reach for her again.
Dani steps back as I move forward, but my legs are longer, my determination overcoming my self-control, and I pull Dani close once more.
“Please, Dani,” I murmur, peering deep into her icy blue gaze, willing her to see the sincerity in mine.
Her hand comes out of nowhere. The sharp sting of her open palm finding my cheek with impressive force. I should have seen it coming. It’s not the first time she’s tried to slap me. But I’ve been so consumed with my efforts to convince her, I didn’t see the warning sign.
For an instant, we both freeze, my brain trying to catch up with the fact that she’s still mad enough to hit me. And while, in the grand scheme of things, I could hardly count it as painful, what hurts most is the meaning behind it.
And worst of all is the way Dani’s expression shifts from anger to fear. Her eyes grow wide as her cheeks pale, and her lips part as if to say something that might protect her.
She’s scared of me.
My hands fall from her as the painful truth cuts through me like shards of glass. Whatever we once had is gone. All the trust and love, and understanding. It’s been wiped away in an instant, with a single bullet that I didn’t even shoot.
“Stay away from me, Efrem,” Dani breathes, slowly stepping back to put space between us. “And don’t you ever try to kiss me again.”
The vitriol in her command is like salt on my already open wound. And I catch one last glimpse of the deep hatred in her eyes, then Dani spins on her heel and flees.
Stunned by Dani’s behavior, I don’t follow. My feet feel rooted to the spot, frozen to the cold ground. She listened to what I had to say, and she still doesn’t believe me. What can I possibly do now? I promised her I would leave her alone if she would only let me speak my piece. And she did.
Gut in knots, I comb my fingers through my hair as I watch her quickly departing figure. Every fiber of my being screams that I should go after her. But I can’t. Right now, that would only make things worse. I’m sure of it.
Still, I can’t just watch her walk away.
