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And though the answer doesn’t quite make sense, it fills me with such intense relief that I close my eyes and sink into the moment.
“Dani?”
My heart jolts at the familiar voice. One, I don’t recall being here the last time.
My eyes snap open, and I gasp as Ben enters the clearing.
Clothes soaked in blood, he watches me from several yards away, his face pale, his expression twisted in pain. “Why would you choose him over me? He’s the enemy,” Ben says vehemently.
“I didn’t…” I start, my gut wrenching horribly.
And all at once, the cold, hard truth comes crashing back down on me. Ben’s dead. And Efrem is the enemy. How could I have let this happen? Did he trick me into sleeping with him?
No, I was more than willing. I wanted Efrem desperately.
And even now, as I jerk forward, out of his embrace, it’s agony to separate myself from him.
With a sharp gasp, I sit up in bed, my eyes flying open as I wake myself in desperation to remove my body from Efrem’s arms.
A horrible sense of emptiness follows, filling my chest and making my heart ache. Pressing my palm to my chest, I knead my sternum, willing the pain to go away. But this isn’t a muscle spasm. It’s not a cramp I can work out of.
This is my life now.
Fighting the wave of tears that threatens to spill down my cheeks, I throw off my blankets and climb out of bed, desperate for fresh air.
Damn Efrem for coming near me. Losing Ben has been hard enough. But the constant torture of facing the man I loved—a man who betrayed me so completely—it’s haunting me, literally. Turning the small amount of sleep I manage these days into a constant nightmare.
Padding to the window, I pull it open, then lean my elbows on the sill so I can breathe in the crisp night air. My breath fogs before me, and the chill brings goosebumps to my arms and neck. But the cold is refreshing. It tells me I’m most definitely awake. That I won’t find myself trapped in another dream about Efrem, where I’m in love with him once again.
It’s torture, really. Having to relive those emotions. But my heart can’t seem to turn it off. Even if my brain is confident that I hate him.
Without consciously intending to, my eyes flick toward the tree where I found him watching me all those months ago. And my heart skips a beat.
Am I still dreaming?
Or is he actually there, hidden in the shadows?
21
EFREM
I know that if I’m going to stay fresh and do a proper job of protecting Pyotr and his family, I need some sleep. But I can’t seem to find it. I thought watching Dani make it safely home would be enough, staying long enough to be sure that Mikhail didn’t show up for dinner again.
I forced myself to walk home, work out, take a shower, and eat. But lying in bed, sleepless, was doing nothing for my mental state. So after several hours of staring blankly up at the ceiling, thinking about my conversation with Dani today and how horribly it had gone, I chose to get up.
It didn’t take long to dress and head back toward the brownstone building of her parents’ house in Brooklyn Heights. And now, as I stand in the deep shadows of the trees across the street, watching the silent stillness of her family home, I feel a slight ease in my tension.
I’ve been plagued by the notion that if someone killed Ben—and it’s not the Veles—then maybe they’ll come after Dani as well. And while I can’t spend all my time protecting her when Pyotr’s safety is a constant concern, checking in on her regularly has brought me some peace of mind.
I’m hoping if I watch for a little while and prove that nothing’s wrong, I’ll be able to get some much-needed sleep. Settling my shoulder against a tree, I watch the night guard for a moment. He seems perfectly alert, his hands comfortably at his sides as he scans the darkness.
All the lights are off, giving the house an almost vacant appearance. Still, it puts my mind at ease to see no one’s trying to disturb the Richelieu household.
I’m probably being overly cautious. But that’s what I’ve been raised to do. Never trust that those you love are safe. And always trust your instincts.
Though I might not know exactly what my instincts are telling me, I do believe Dani’s in danger. Just not tonight, perhaps. And even though I’ve confirmed that with my own eyes, I find myself lingering outside her house.
I might have promised to leave Dani alone, but if I watch her from a distance, that counts, doesn’t it? At least for the time being, I intend to give her space. Talking clearly isn’t helping anyway. But looking out for her safety is something else entirely.
