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That I need to do to keep myself sane.
Her security guard checks his watch, then steps down the brownstone porch stairs to make his hourly round. Another reason I should stay—just to keep an eye until he gets back. Then, I promise myself, I’ll go home and try to catch a few hours of rest.
Motion catches my eye a moment later, and I glance up at the second-story window of Dani’s room. My heart skips a beat as someone moves inside her dark room. For one painstaking moment, I fear an intruder might have already made their way inside the house.
Then Dani’s slight figure appears at the window. Dressed in an oversized T-shirt and flannel pants, she looks sleep-addled, her hair mussed, as she slides her window open on its tracks. She leans out the window, her expression somewhere between haunted and claustrophobic, as she rests her arms on the window frame and takes a deep breath.
Did she have a bad dream?
I wonder if her brother haunts her nightmares like my father did for years. She’s older than I was when I saw death for the first time, but not by much. She’s still too young.
Stilling as her eyes flick in my direction, I wonder if she might not sense my presence. Her gaze falls on me with a penetrating heat that would tell me she can. A knot of anticipation tightens in my stomach, and I crush the feeling, holding perfectly still in the hopes that she can’t actually see me in the shadows.
Then, in an instant, she’s gone. She moves so quickly, I almost wonder if I imagined her there. Only her window still sits open, allowing the cold November air into her room.
The momentary relief I felt at seeing her vanishes along with her, and I wonder just what she might be doing. If she did see me, I wouldn’t put it past her to be calling the cops on me right now. Not that I would blame her. She’s been more than clear about her wishes.
I just can’t seem to bring myself to stay away.
A moment later, her front door creaks open, and I shove off the tree with my shoulder as I realize she’s coming outside.
Dani glances in the direction of where her security guard would normally take up his station before quickly looking up and down the street. Then she shrugs into a heavy cardigan as she races across the empty space toward me.
My heart does an odd flip-flop as she approaches, my body anticipating her even though I know I’m in for a sound tongue-lashing. I can see the fire in her eyes before she even crosses the street.
“God damn it, Efrem,” she hisses, pulling her sweater close around her body as she crosses her arms over her chest.
She stops several feet away from me, glancing behind her to make sure no one watched her leave the house. A flicker of an observation flits through my mind—that even though she’s clearly irate, she doesn’t want anyone to know I’m here. Whether that’s to protect her or me, I’m unclear. But as mad as she is with me, she doesn’t want to involve her security detail or the police.
Small as it might seem, I’m going to count that as a win.
“You promised to leave me alone,” she murmurs, the fresh betrayal stark on her delicate face. Even in her anger, Dani looks as beautiful as ever, her golden skin tinged with a russet blush of emotion. Her full lips press into a straight line, her brows furrowing to show me just how furious she is.
“Hey, you are the one who came out to speak to me,” I point out, raising my hands innocently. I know I shouldn’t tease her, but I can’t do another round in the ring. If I don’t find another way of talking to her, I’m going to break under the pressure.
“Are you seriously making a joke right now?” she demands, her voice rising. Then she glances back toward the house as if realizing she might have called attention to us. “This is not funny, Efrem. Nothing about this is funny.” Her eyes flash as they turn back to look at me.
“I know, Dani,” I insist, that knot in my chest tightening further.
Once upon a time, talking to Dani had been as natural as breathing. But now, everything I say is wrong. Still, I feel the need to defend myself, ridiculous as that might seem.
“I did intend to leave you alone—” I start.
Dani cuts me off with a scoff. “That’s what this is? Standing outside my house at three o’clock in the morning?”
“I only came to see that you’re safe,” I insist. “I did not see the harm if I didn’t try to talk to you. Hell, I didn’t even intend for you to know I came. You just happened to come to the window.”
“First off, I don’t need your protection, Efrem. I don’t want it. And frankly, you’re what I need protection from,” she spits. “And second, you can’t possibly expect me to believe that I just so happened to wake up right as you casually strolled by my house at this time of night. How long have you been watching me?”
My jaw clenches at her harsh words, and I grind my teeth to stop myself from saying anything I might regret. “I did not say I was casually strolling by,” I state flatly. “But I assure you, I am trying to respect your wishes and keep my distance—”
“Yeah, well, next time, when you think you’re trying to respect my wishes, know that what I mean is if you’re within sight of me—no, if I’m within sight of you, because apparently that’s the only gauge you seem to understand—you’re too fucking close. The next time you see me, I want you to turn around and walk the other way. In fact, you could move back to Russia for all I care, just so long as I never have to look at you again!”
Angry tears overflow from Dani’s eyes, running down her cheeks in a slow stream, and she wipes impatiently at them as she glares me down.
“Is that clear enough for you now, Efrem?”
Swallowing hard through the sudden tightness in my throat, I force myself to answer her. “Yes.”
